Friday, February 27, 2009

Late Night Music Frank Style

Around the Blogosphere people continually have these late night videos of music they like or music that has meaning to today's current events. Being an indie rock/ music aficionado I thought I would introduce my tastes to the Blog World and this is my first installment.

Thrice- Broken Lungs (Acoustic)



The original of version of this song is just as powerful, but stripped down the song reveals an honest approach to 9/11 and the Bush Administration's handling of America thereafter. Read the lyrics here.

I have long been a fan of Thrice who started out in California as a screaming metal influenced punk band, however on their recent release the Alchemy Index Volumes Thrice has managed to sculpt a true piece of artistic expression. If you have time catch the rest of these acoustic sessions on YouTube please do and hear this kick ass band .


I am Frank Chow and I approved this message.


Psst...their guitarist who I have had the pleasure to meet is Asian! His name is Teppei Teranishi

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Wasteful Spending? Oh facts, how I love thee

Bobby Jindal and Republicans this message is for you!

This is a sad reminder what happens when America and the government is ill-prepared for disaster.





And this "eruption of spending" can prevent this...well all except the bad movie...or can it?









See this is called a visual reference for visual learning, in turn hopefully the RNC will retain this information. I learned about this technique in College which I thought Oxford was, but apparently I was mistaken it is clearly a place to forget what you are taught and instead take denial and reverse logic pills. I once had that problem too it was called hot chick sitting next to me in Psych 101 with an amazing rack. Speaking of Iraq, how's that one looking for you Repubs? (WOW did you see how I did that? SLAM, DA DA LET THE BOYS BE BOYS SLAM)

I am Frank Chow and I approved this message.

Gary Locke in da White House!!!....Cabinet?



Three strikes your out right? Yesterday President Barack Obama announced his third selection for the position of Commerce Secretary and it is none other than our brother from an Asian mother GARY LOCKE!!!

the crowd goes wild it's a grand slam from P.Obama without the assistance of steroids. he shoots he scores, jordan fades back and that's the game! touchdown, touchdown, rothslecrapper throws the td to santonio holmes! insert other sports references of winning here.

As I highlighted before that makes four members of Obama's team (3 cabinet members) that are of the Asian persuasion and man does it feel good. Not only does Gary Locke represent solid policies, but he looks like my Dad. No really.

Oh Pops, you love your Starbucks

I know Satan Malkin will be spinning her head at this nomination connecting dots with traffic cones, but it is nice to have this squared away. After the Beard that Cashed and the Repub that Psyched, let's hope for a swift confirmation.

In a side note this will confuse North Korea more than anything. Locke-down is the name and he looks this friggin cool. Can you deal with that Kim Jong Il? I thought not (stare of America).


I am Frank Chow and I approved this message.

Jindal EXPOSED!!!



I am Frank Chow and I approved this message

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Ninja Politics- A Moment of Thought with Frank



To be considered a progressive you must have new ideas

To be considered a liberal you must make a statement and back it up with fact

To be considered a conservative you must reject logic

Obama Gives Hope, Jindal a Mope



President Obama addressed both the House and Senate last night as well as the Nation. In a little under an hour he made sense, spoke about the economy, energy and education. There was more standing and sitting than a Sunday Service. Regardless it was nice to see a speech given by our President without a wink, or blink reference and "gotcha" town-folk condescension.

Now onto to Palin Part Deux or Bobby" the E.Newman" Jindal! As I like to call the WTF Governor?

Sooooo (exhausting arms gesticulating everywhere, to the point of flapping wooahhhhhhh) I guess the Republican Response to the current state of America is to go back to everything we have already heard. Little Government, no taxes and the Democrats are socialists (not directly but pretty close)



Silly stories, gotcha talk, and repeating of the policies people have already rejected! And what is worse during a Republican governed nation Katrina was a disaster and this joke, punchline aka Ass Hat blames the government for bureaucracy and lack of help....it's sad and unacceptable.

It was like the RNC got together and drank some weird Kool-aid and said you know what worked for us this....



And this...



I guess they forgot about this...



Man there is a song that describes this whole thing perfectly....now if only Frank can remember...ahhh yes those guys!




I am Frank Chow and I approved this message.

p.s. hall and oates rule!

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Obama Says No More Pew Pew in Iraq



In a moment of clarity that will strike fear into Wing-Nuts everywhere, President Obama has announced a withdrawal from Iraq by 2010.

Throw away your terrorist Legos boys and girls, quit playing in sandboxes with Transformers, we have LOGIC and will run America!!!!


Frank exits his house runs around three times yelling "LOGIC, LOGIC, LOGIC." He then high-fives a random neighbor mowing his lawn and kisses the ground. A breathe of fresh air America ladies and gentlemen.

Let's see here now where was I? Oh that's right MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! How did that go?

Well in the likes of our current President not too bad. During the campaign he said 16 months and with the push against the withdrawal by the Pentagon I would say MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.

Major Pew Pewing




Now I am not any kind of historical genius, but my 4th grade teacher Mrs. Brown once told me I could shoot a spitball using my armpit better than anyone in our class which means MISSION ACCOMPLISHED BEEYOTCHES!!!

Oh and I wonder if G-Dub has a secret basement bunker in his new Dallas home for when Sadam comes and haunts him from the grave with WMD's...muaahahaahhahaaha. (just don't stock up on the peanut butter G-Dub)

Save Me Bunny



I am Frank Chow and I approved this message.

Frank Figured it Out and it's AWESOME

Remember this?



Or this?




And now we have this....





Hollywood so had it right! And they rule our collective world.

I am Frank Chow and I approved this message.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Crazy in the Chicago Board of Trade

Viewer beware this is crazy!




Rick Santelli works for CNBC and loses his mind here. It's odd he didn't mention the huge bailout Wall Street and the Banks got. Here is a great take on it. That bailout would be ummm not socialist? That bailout would be Un-American according to Rick's rant here....Nor does he mentions his revolution would be one man dog and pony show. Or the fact that afterward his head spun, he spit blood and starting screaming "Beelzebub."

Rick Santelli was seen right after this licking a telephone pole in the Chicago weather, shouting the sky was falling and that the Earth is and always will be flat. He then slipped back into his alternate Universe with the Skrull society eating the brains of logical people everywhere.

Ladies and Gentlemen Rick Santelli



I lick the boots of bankers and sniff the glue of Free Marketismicity


I am Frank Chow and I approved this message.

Oscars, Guess Who Fox thinks got Snubbed?

GRAN TORINO!!!!!!




Are you surprised? The story is about an old white male whose neighborhood is now diverse and stricken with stereotypes of Asian and African Americans. In this video the commentators description alone proves why Fox looooves this load of crap. After showing the aggressive nature of "thugs" towards the ever idolized Clint Eastwood, this guy thinks it's great because every race is Un-PC, "even Lutherans" are free game. Really? Not the supposed story of Eastwood's character realizing he is wrong in his ways or that not every Asian is a gook or slant eye or whatever other racial slur he can spout.

THIS IS RAGE WORTHY!!

I have already ranted about this movie and how Eastwood is the lovechild of Wing-Nuttery, an unapologetic racist whose unflappable outdated outlook on the world is trumpeted by Villagers everywhere. Oscars for once, thank you for making the right choice and Fix News no surprise you are loving this film.

This is how I think their viewing of the movie went down:

Clint Eastwood, drool!

Oh man, he said chink again, that's a good one.

Did you see those thugs, gangsters so scary!

GET HIM!! GET THEM!!

You tell em' Clint go back to where you came from.

Asians man they are stupid, HA!

Single tear for Wing-Nuttery everywhere.

I miss G-Dub.


the Movie ends and the Villagers miss the point as well as the director/actor Clint Eastwood.

I am Frank Chow and IT'S RACIST.

He's Healthy and Full of Love?




Great video and Frank approved!

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Obama Responds, I am goin after the Hicks


With the recent revelation that Michael Steele wants to appeal to the hip-hop culture of American Obama has gone on record in response.

Obama has stated:

The Democratic Party needs to appeal more to Real America. Reach out to hicks, rednecks, inbreds all around the States in showing we liberals get whatchoo you goin on down der. I might not live in a trailer park, but I have visited them in Elkhart. I'm gonna spin vinyls of Toby Keith in honor of my uneducated gun-clinging Christians while drinking Bud.




The President has made it clear that the internet would not be involved in this new grassroots movement citing, "these kind of degenerates and tards with their farmer's tans need hand shakes and two-cups on a string."

Tim Kaine added, "shoot I am white and don't understand what the heck they do in those backwoods, but I am sure squirrel tastes just as good as deer."



It is a bold move in the right direction after winning the Presidential Election and many heated seat elections in the House and Senate. Their plan seems to appeal to Real America on so many levels, even Hillary Clinton has adopted the slore boots of Sarah Palin in hopes to get pregnant white teenagers to vote in upcoming elections. The DNC is on a current campaign via their long email lists for volunteers with overalls.




You can reach them here at whiteamericaisrealamerica.gov



I am Frank Chow and I approved this message.

Michael Steele (Dick Cheney's Son) Out for Hip Hop

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In an attempt to sound in touch Michael Steele, the new head of the RNC, sounds completely out of touch. Using words like "bling-bling" to describe the stimulus and saying the RNC wants to appeal to "urban-suburban hip-hop settings," Steele furthers the theory he is the devil spawn of Dick Cheney.

Being a connoisseur of all things hip-hop and urban I can spot a playa hata when I see one DOG! This dude be whack and totally sippin on the wrong sizzurp. Where my bloods at? Someone call DMX and show him what the fugg Bling and Hip-Hop really is! Please cap this dude a new a-hole.

It's sad when the completely out of touch RNC attempts to "reach-out" to hip-hop when they don't understand how condescending that entire idea is....you voted NO on the Stimulus, supported G-Dub during Katrina and never cared about the inner city or urban culture lumping that in with anything SUBURBAN is obviously a statement made by someone who knows nothing about

JUICY



2PAC



TRIBE



and FIDEE. (according to FIDEE you be a Wanksta)



Next thing you know Steele will be quoting "Jenny from da block", Vanilla Ice and all things street based off the Wayans Brothers movies. I can't wait till he starts talking about pagers and Zubra pants. Peeps these homes!



I am Frank Chow and I approved this message.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Nemesis Shows Class- Malkin Update

Wondering where my rage has gone when it comes to one of my chief nemesis'?

Well NOWHERE!!!
This scab of a human being, this fecal matter, this waste of air was somehow let of out of her Wing-Nut cage on Limbaugh street and made a public appearance and posed for pictures!




Michelle "I am Not Asian" Malkin was spotted gleaming in a photo with none other than one of those "sane" fans of hers. A man using the Nazi-symbol in a great sign comparing our President to Hitler, or the Nazi Movement or is it a crooked Deer Hunter's cross-hairs? Regardless it makes as much sense to eat your own poop than to compare a man newly elected into office who is trying to help those losing their homes, jobs and overall way of life to....the NAZIS! Um what were the Nazi's again?

THAT'S RIGHT WHITE GERMANS! If you don't recall they also were looking for the pure Aryan race!

So by this man's sign he is saying Obama wants to eliminate himself all together? Wing-nuttery at it's finest.

Now onto Malkin, I am declaring her no longer part of the Asian Race, Community and or lineage. I am calling for an immediate Race Draft, Dave Chapelle style.



She can gladly go to the Aryans or whatever made up name for "the perfect race" you can think of and in return we the Asian Community will take Paul Krugman.



He won a Nobel Prize, likes small dogs and is amazingly smart in Math. By my racial scale, he's already 3/4 Asian, now if we can only get them to take John Yoo as well....


I am Frank Chow and Michelle Malkin is now White.

Fun with Ronald Burris


This is a summation of headlines more or less involving Senator Ronald Burris:

Ronald Burris just announced something.

No wait he didn't.

He did.

Um check that he raised money for Blago.

Wait nope.

Yup he did a lot like bling on top of bling and hookers too.

Senator Burris is no more.

He's back Obi-Wan Kenobi style.

Gone again.

He lied.

He only sort of lied.

Back again with thorns, yup thought so he's the devil.

Nope just like a minion to the devil.

He kind of sort of lied, but not to hurt anyone's feelings so it is okay.

Burris just dropped a book on Ethics.

Senators are all baffled apparently Blago is Burris. Burris is Blago. NOOO!!!!!!





I am Frank Chow and I approved this message.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

RACIST! Miley Cyrus

Want to see a conversation about race and Miley Cyrus and then have your head explode?

Red Eye Proves if you have Andrew WK talk race it makes everything cool- And when you have four people of the same race getting together to talk about race, you get this steamy pile of racial misunderstanding and babble.

Soapbox time:



This is a picture of a celebrity doing something offensive. Should there be a billion dollar lawsuit, no of course not, should she give a better apology? YES. FUGG YES!! This is a girl who is an idol and role model to millions of other little girls including Asian little girls and what she did was FUGGIN offensive. Had she been in black face, the NAACP would have gone batshiz crazy. Insane even. Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson probably would have made statements with tears. What do us Asians get? A lawsuit and it receives public ridicule ?Does that make any sense? NO! Of course it doesn't but the Asian Community has a history of being silent, so it isn't taken seriously or maybe it's because everyone talking about this offensive Miley Cyrus picture doesn't find Asians to fall in the same category of minorities as every other.

Railroads?
WWII Camps? Those rings a bell? EXACTLY! We have gone through this shiz before, but we shouldn't turn the other cheek. I think it's ridick and believe it is just another sign of Hollywood, Corporate America and the media missing out a simple point. It's offensive. It was racist and it isn't funny or playful. But what do you expect from a girl pimped out by her "Achy Breaky" Daddy?

So let's just get this done with. Drop the lawsuit ask for a public appearance in the Asian Community and an apology that acknowledges stupidity and plain thoughtlessness and move on.

She will fade away into Rehab with the rest of the childhood starlets and I believe this racist little slore deserves nothing else.



I am Frank Chow and I approved this message.

House of No


Eric Cantor (puts the CAN'T in Cantor), one of the leaders of The House of No, or the Republisucks as I like to call them put out an awesome video celebrating their "no" vote on the Stimulus Package. And by awesome I mean a bragging, frat like video with Aerosmith in the background singing "Back in Saddle."

Now, I only took remedial psychology course at the local community college, but I know denial when I see it. This is straight crazy. Put them all in Arkham Asylum and hope they don't break loose. This compares to Detroit Lions fans claiming a succesful 2008 season. The Cubs claiming a World Series win or Mike Tyson holding the heavy weight belt again. IT'S ONE STEP AWAY FROM STRAIGH JACKET CRISS ANGEL STYLE!

Normally when you lose an election, drop seats in both the House and Senate, have a Democratic President in office with a 68% approval rating, an economy on the downturn, banks failing across the globe because of your failed policies; you don't go pee on the fire and claim victory with a high-five and head-butt to Steven Tyler in woman's leather pants. Obviously Cantor and friends missed that memo and so we get this lump of dung.



Okay I am going to go build a statue for myself congratulating me on not getting any tail for the 27th Valentine's Day. It's the new craze or so Eric Cantor says. Patting yourself on the back for No is so 2009.

Peace two fingers suckers!

I am Frank Chow and I approved this message.


PS: Aerosmith better be pissed or they should move to Canada.

Friday, February 13, 2009

A Moment of Theatre with Republicans


Scene:

A quiet room filled with the heads of hunted boars, elephants, birds, lions and bears adorn the walls. A painting of George W. Bush hugging Ronald Reagan, high-fiving Rush Limbaugh while he kisses Ann Coulter on the cheek. The room smells of cigars and cheap suits made by Chinese sweat shop workers. Four very white, very angry men sit at the end of the longest table ever made of gold and the tears of under privileged children. A single lamp is lit by a Mexican immigrant worker holding a lighter, his arm straight like the Statue of Liberty.

Enter Judd Gregg. A nominee for Secretary of Commerce. He is old and white too, but on a mission to be part of President Obama's Cabinet. He is trembling a bit and sweating like Limbaugh in a room filled with donuts and Oxycontin.

(Loud Voice) COME IN MY SON!

Gregg walks forward to the end of the table. The men lean in. Lots of cigar smoke.

Gregg: Um, hello Chancellor Conservative and High Councilmen of Conservativism.

Rush: HOW DARE YOU!! HOW DARE YOU!!

Boehner: Are you about to take sides with the Magic Negro? Is this true?

Gregg: Uh, well I think he is...moving the country in a good direction when it...

Hannity: SILENCE!!!

Gregg: ok....

Mitch: Ah crap my colostemy bag broke.

Gregg: What was that?

Rush: Silence! Are you or are you not a Republican?

Gregg: Well yes, but

Hannity: LIAR!!! Off with his head!

Mitch: Yep totally just wet myself.

Boehner: Do you not understand if Obama succeeds at making it clear we have no plan, no clue on how to solve the economy and if we side with him on things we will lose everything!!

Hannity: At least we got Cheney to take over the soul of Michael Steele.

Gregg: Guys I don't...

Rush: Silence! We are the voice of Republican party and we are telling you must step down or else!

Gregg: Or else what?

Hannity, Boehner & Rush: You will be left alone in a room with Ted Haggard.

Gregg: Nooooooooooooo!! Anything but that.

Mitch: Not again, I smell like Rush's arm pits.

A large gavel made with the teeth of terrorists is slammed on the ginormous table. Judd Gregg leaves kissing the floor made of American Flag pins. Leading him to this...




I am Frank Chow and I approved this message.

Mute Button!

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Wing-Nuts Sounds Familiar...I KNEW IT PROTHERO!



from V for Vendetta



Rush Limbaugh



Bill O' Reilly


I am Frank Chow and It's an Atrocity

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Priorities Still Clear in America

People go broke and lose their homes. The economy is the sh*tter and Congress wants to pass a Stimulus Package smaller than what was originally intended by both the Senate and House. All the while there is a sick and disgusting group of people who would rather support a dog than the homeless. I think the movie Best in Show, described the lunacy behind our obsession with domesticated animals.

See a problem here?




I am Frank Chow and I approved this message.

Reid and Leaders Cut More from Stimulus?

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Rumor has it
, stupidity is actually what runs Democracy. I hope not, but it looks bad. Real bad.

I am not sure what to say. I am actually out of words.


Oh wait that never happens. So here is a little advice. Go back into that room grow some barrs. Big barrs and DO YOUR JOB!!! Or else Frank is going to get all Grey Hulk on your asses. Wolverine on your asses. RuPaul on your asses (and then you will be sorry sore sorry) This is like eating a pear and calling it an apple. Or pooping a log and calling it potpourri. It's like listening to Yanni and calling it good. It's like being a Congressman or Senator and not doing your job. Here's a video that reminds us of what we should be hearing from our leaders:




Sorry wrong video, but those kids tore it up!

I am Frank Chow and I am bout fed up.

Heath Shuler Representative D**k


This is Heath Shuler. I hate Heath Shuler.

Let's begin at the beginning:

He is from Tennessee, strike one.

Was drafted by favorite football team, the Washington Redskins and sucked barrs. Major barrs. He was supposed to be the quarterback of the future. He wasn't even the quarterback of 1994.

He is a BLUE DOG. A BLUE DOG if you aren't familiar are Republicans who claim to be Democrats for no apparent reason and then mess things up KGB style- see the Stimulus.

Okay class to recap.

This is Heath Shuler. He is a D**k. He was the worst quarterback in Washington Redskins' history. He is from Tennessee and Peyton Manning schooled his records and he is a BLUE DOG, crap of a representative and a shame to the Democratic party.

Any questions? I thought not.

In honor of Heath's amazingnessicity I mailed him a nice letter and gift thanking him for his service to our country and the Washington Redskins. ( I will never show a picture of this man in the greatest uniform ever because he never deserved to wear it in the first place)


Dear Heath,

I WANT the 1994-1996 SEASONS BACK!!! GO SKINS!! HAIL TO VICTORY!! DO YOU KNOW WHAT VICTORY IS YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF SH*T...speaking of which thanks for voting against the Stimulus Package I am going to lick the tops of trashcans now. Here's a gift to show my affection for you pissing on the poor and those in need. May it warm your black heart. Joe Gibbs hates you and so does Joe Theisman.


Regards,

Frank Chow.

Conspiracy at My Work Place

So today I get to my desk of total domination and what do I find...my birthday cards from Grandma are a little out of place. My phone is off the hook and my multi-vitamins are a little less empty. My chair was lower and just little too relaxed for my raging.

What could have happened after hours at the office? Was someone trying to break into the secrets of Frank? CIA? FBI? Homeland Pew Pewrity?

I am not so certain yet, but what I do know. I have hired some bad asses to take care of bizness.




I am Frank Chow and I am on the look.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Nemesis Gets Pwn'd




Couldn't have said better.

I am Frank Chow and I approved this message.

Captain Obvious Strikes Again!

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President Barack Obama held a News Conference last night to address the Stimulus Package and as Sarah Palin would say the"what have you's."

Again it was the same old song and dance. Obama had to play Captain Obvious to reporters and the"liberal biased media." Even calling out a handful as Revisionists of History.

See the below post. I missed CHUCK and her hotness for reporters and America to catch up. I am going to grab a box of tissues and watch Blue Crush...I mean Titanic, that's it Titanic.



Aww, Liberal Girls and Surfing. That's America.


I am Frank Chow and I approved this message.

Monday, February 9, 2009

Obama Has it Out for Chuck



Obama tonight will address the nation. He will most likely include in his speech the following...

Republicans are economic idiots

Bipartisanship only works if you do as I say

Stimulus is not SPENDING

We voted for Change

Pass this Bill more will come later and you won't get such a nice approach next time

The media is just as stupid as they look

I am the President not John McCain

Now all of that will be said, but you know what won't be viewed CHUCK! That's right and Frank is pissed off as all heck about it. Who wouldn't want to watch a nerdy guy who is an undercover CIA agent with a hot blonde kick butt? EXACTLY!!! EVERYONE WANTS TO WATCH THIS!




But nooooo Obama has to be all Presidential and speak in complete sentences with facts and support for the Stimulus Package while Republicans, Wing-Nuts and morons in America flip through basic Economics declaring themselves smarter than Nobel Peace Prize Winners and people with actual degrees.

I rest my case. Obama let CHUCK air tonight, then make an appearance within CHUCK and boom Stimulus Plan and tortured solved in one fell swoop. My logic is undeniable.


I am Frank Chow and I approved this message.

We Are the Children


Little note here real quick.

I have noticed that since other arguments against the Stimulus bill haven't worked. Like calling it "porkulus" or calling it socialism as some Wing-Nuts have proclaimed they Republisucks have moved onto Saving the Children. Even John "I Hate Gooks" McCain has stated it's "generational theft. "

Let's just see what they have done to help children out...they cut from the Package. (on the real this is sad and unfortunate the selfish nature of our current Congress)

$24.8 billion to states for budget shortfalls in education programs
$15 billion to states for additional education funding
$2 billion to Child Care Development Block Grants

HOORAY FOR THE FUTURE! OUR KIDS ARE SAVED BY THE GREAT POLICY!!

A video for your viewing pleasure: (I need a laugh. It's only 11:40am and these peeps be fuggin up. In other news I just mailed 12 letters to Congressman full of poop lots of poop. Thank you 5 Dolla Foot Longs)




I am Frank Chow and Check out the HAIR!

RAGE ON! WE'VE ELECTED MORONS!


The Senate says they have come to an agreement on the Stimulus Package/Bill/God Save Us Please Bill and lo and behold what did they compromise?

Education, More Tax Cuts and State Aid!!!

That makes as much sense as me punching myself in the gut with the fist of Mike Tyson, while screaming yippee and wearing My Little Pony embroidered pajamas. I would rather be watching Sarah Palin give a speech on motherhood and abstinence then listen to this "Blue Dog-Bipartisan" group of MORONS!

It's like we elected all the kids who ate glue all day in elementary school and wrote essays about hair-styles and the importance of a slap bracelet in high school only to get blacked out drunk for four years of college on Daddy's dollar.

Let's ignore all economists, geniuses and Nobel Prize winners about how to best deal with our current crisis and drop a deuce on all of them by eliminating the bare essentials of the BILL!

Yeah pat ourselves on the back for that one. If you have time please write these morons who supposedly "reached across the aisles." They reach across the aisle to gloriously stop unemployment checks, encourage glue eating and cut taxes for the people who caused this crisis in the first place.

Here's to stupid!



"Hey what should we do today?"
"I don't know f*ck up the world?"

I am Frank Chow and I approved this message.

Friday, February 6, 2009

The Face of a Sore Loser

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Republican Party Into Obscurity and Beyond!


With all that is going on in our great "United" States of America the Republican Party is attempting to further distance themselves from public opinion and logic.

In a bold move, beyond boldness of boldicity Republicans are now voicing against President Barack Obama's cap on executives salary who receive bailout funds. Apparently $500,000 bones is not big enough for someone to live happily now.

Repubs have been heard saying:

It's socialism! Socialism I say! PS: What's a Socialism?

It's scary, don't we live in America where we can openly pee on the poor?


Well what do you think I am Senator receiving campaigns donations for, I plan on getting a job with one of these companies after I retire from this sh*t job. I can't live off of $500,000 that is dirt.


That's it! Toby Keith write a song please!

Well I figure picking a black guy to run the RNC would get us some points...for something...anybody?


It is clear that the Republican Party must openly fight anything and everything Obama puts on the table. In a recent meeting some outcries were coming from all angles of the party with exclamations rarely heard in the halls of the Elephant. Here are some excerpts.

He's using logic, we can't beat that! How do we beat that?! -John Boehner

It's not fair, not fair, he's smarter with a degree to prove it and he understands economicals. -John McCain

I don't believe in Science, I mean who is this Science guy anyway. I believe in Jesus. Energy, Green sounds close to witchcraft if you ask me. -Mitch McConnell

I don't read. -Jon Kyl


It other news tonight I will eat the Baconator and yes you won't see me all weekend.


I am Frank Chow and I approved this message.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

A President Who Writes? A President Who Brings the Smackdown!?!


I must be in the twilight zone. We have a President who penned an Op-Ed in the Washington Post expressing his views? He also gave a speech today supporting Green Jobs?

THIS IS WEIRD!!

Apparently Dub-Ya had a letter of his own today on Fox News:

Dear Obama-Dude,

Hey terrorist! Just kidding. LOL. What you doin writing all smart and such? Trying to make me look bad? And what's this I hear about you signing stuff through I didn't even know existed? Man it is warm in Texas. Oh look a butterfly..................



Also I bet Boehner and Rush just had their heads spin. It's tough to retort logic and reason backed by facts. Oh debate team how I miss you!


I am Frank Chow and I approved this message.

Salary Capped



Obama put a quasi smack down on the Wall-Street Fat Cats yesterday and by quasi I mean the dudes can still make close to a cool half-million dollars!!!

Shoot, if I ran a company into the ground and someone paid me Jay-Z money I would totally take that cash beeyotches. I could still get 1 Jacob the Jeweler Watch and invest in Google. Make a crappy mash-up album with Linkin Park and make even more dough. Damn boy! Where's my clock necklace?

In all reality I am broke, so I am going to buy some Fruit Roll-ups and see if I can make them last the rest of the week...an inch a day, an inch a day Frank. (single-tear, next stop hookin')


I am Frank Chow and I approved this message.


PS: One more Salary Cap for dat ass!


Obama on a Search

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On My Day Off

On my day off I did the following:








Played Halo with the sole purpose to mess up people's plans of winning Team Death Matches. (died a total of 121 times in one match of five minute length)














Ate an entire bag of Munchies, cheesy style.


Drank 40's while singing "B*tches ain't Sh*t"



Eloped.

Un-eloped.

Drunk dialed Senators Reid, Rep Pelosi, Senator Warner and this guy.

Ran around my block naked screaming STIM-U-LUS!













Watched Home Alone 2 and cried laughing.




Overall a successful day off. Now back to RAGE!!



I am Frank Chow and that was way too much info....

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Country First Goes Country Last


John "Maverick" McCain now is asking his supporters and America to oppose the Stimulus Package.

This is the same guy who LOST the election and said um "the fundamentals of our economy are strong" and " I don't know much about the economy."

That being said, the bigger question is, why would anyone listen to him?

Newsflash: I have just decided to SUSPEND my blogging.

Newsflash: I have un-suspended my blogging.

Newsflash: No longer suspending, but bungee jumping my blogging.

Newsflash: I have decided Country First I am super high rising my blogging.

Newsflash: I Rule!




I am Frank Chow and I approved this message.

All Kinds Of Rage

The Stimulus Package Debate has begun and rage on has begun!

The Repubs compiled a list of what they deem as "wasteful" spending.
Leave it to the Republican party to shoot down the bill with catch phrases instead of facts.

Some highlights from the bill that Republicans deem wasteful (we are trying to create jobs here and rebuild America, remember that):

• $400 million for the Centers for Disease Control to screen and prevent STD's.
-Wait what? Better control and understanding of "the Clap"? Invest more money please!

• $1.4 billion for rural waste disposal programs.
-I don't want to deal with Farmers' and Cows' sh*t.

• $125 million for the Washington sewer system.
-See above substitute Lumberjacks' and Hippies'.

• $500 million for flood reduction projects on the Mississippi River.
-Let's see the Mississippi River runs how far? And damaging flooding costs how much? And people would have to "build" these reduction projects.....I rest my case.

• $6 billion to turn federal buildings into "green" buildings.
-How dare they? Global warming is a joke! Blasphemy. Plus the roof is where I sleep with my mistress and secretary. (don't tell the mrs.)

• $500 million for state and local fire stations.
-Two words. Nine Eleven.

• $650 million for wildland fire management on forest service lands.
-All right so apparently if you ignore enough news this idea seems INSANE! What fires? What homes were ruined? Paper is made out of trees?

• $1.2 billion for "youth activities," including youth summer job programs.
-F-em that's what I say. Total waste. (sarcasm is my forte in this post) So jobs. Check. Future of America. Check. Still wasteful.

• $850 million for Amtrak.
-Visit Europe. We suck big time in this department, but then again you take your private jets everywhere on my TAX DOLLARS!

Click the link to see the rest
.

It's obvious. I just schooled everyone and YOU'RE WELCOME!


I am Frank Chow and I approved this message.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Mitch Sucks and Sea Monkeys


This is Mitch. Mitch sucks at life. Any questions?


Let's just keep this as base as possible.

Iraq War- Trillions of dollars

Stimulus- $819 billion

Iraq War- Trillions of dollars

Stimulus- $819 billion


One creates jobs, one creates hate, death and possibly more terrorists.

Now should we listen to Repubs about spending? Or should we just tell them to SHUT THE F UP?!

When was the last good thing the Republican Party passed? These are the same people who filibustered the Civil Rights Act. What makes anyone think they aren't going to filibuster the Stimulus Plan?

Mitch McConnell says they won't, but he also wants to change the Stimulus Package to only suit Republicans......hmmmm.....let me get this straight. You screw up and we reward you by letting you change bills.

NOPE SORRY THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS!!

I have a story it goes like this again at the most base level:

When I was a kid I had Sea Monkeys. They were my Sea Monkeys. One day my younger brother flushed them all down the toilet. Then I got some more Sea Monkeys to take care of and my little brother wanted to play with them. Did I let him? NEVER!!!


See how that works? My logic is undeniable. For those of you who are slow. I am the Democratic Leadership and my little brother is the Sea Monkey killing Republicans.



I am Frank Chow and I approved this message.


PS- I will never forgive you Daniel, those Sea Monkeys had such great hearts (single tear)

Jennifer Hudson Sings the National Anthem




After all she has been through of late...this is a special performance.


Enjoy.

I am Frank Chow and I cried a little.

Some White People Still Really Hate Blacks People


It was only a matter of time.

Michael Steele becomes the Chairman of RNC and white supremacists GO BONKERS!

Resident "Hate Monger" David Duke claims he will be taking the Republican Party back or starting his own party with 90 percent of the Republican Party all of which he claims are just as racist as him!


I can see it now.

Their logo would be the South Pole Polar Bear (super white). Arms patches of the New Republican Party (all white with a white American Flag). Their rank and file would be Albinos (most whitest). And their capital would be Wasilla, Alaska (whitest town of Sarah "Gotcha Media" Palin).

It makes sense though. I mean white people are perfect and we should just listen to them. Yes it is true that white people rule and I am not typing this, but a white robot, with white skin and a white voice and white hands and white thoughts and white white whitey. I like cashmere, penny loafers and cargo shorts.

I am Frank Chow and I am a white robot.


PS ASIAN PRIDE! DAVID DUKE IS FUGGIN NUTS!


PSS: Ninjas are sweeeet!