Friday, January 30, 2009

Michael Steele Elected RNC Chairman

Today Republicans made a decision to elect Michael Steele as RNC Chairman. Michael Steele becomes the first ever Black Republican... I mean Republican National Committee Chairman in hope to reshape and redirect the Republican party.

A black guy? In charge of the RNC? Well I have some questions:

Who is the real Michael Hussein Steele?

What are his relationships with these unapologetic homeless?

How many Nazi experiments do you know were conducted with a purpose to cure cancer, Alzheimer's and autism?

How often to you "pal" around with unrepentant ear biters?

Where's your birth certificate?

How do you really feel about your anti-homosexual remarks, is the Gay Community clinging to boas and glitter ?

What's up with the Orioles?

About that Iraq War how's it going for us?

I am Frank Chow and I approved this message.

I am Not One for Conspiracies....But.....


Son of Dick?

I am Frank Chow and it's eerily similar.

Definition of a Bonus

Below is the definition of a bonus.

: something in addition to what is expected or strictly due: as a: money or an equivalent given in addition to an employee's usual compensation b: a premium (as of stock) given by a corporation to a purchaser of its securities, to a promoter, or to an employee c: a government payment to war veterans d: a sum in excess of salary given an athlete for signing with a team

I expect a full refund of our tax payers dollars. When your business asks for a bailout, it is not a "good year" rewarding of a



Ok I am calm the gf just challenge me to a game of Call of Duty and by gf I mean my PS3. So sweet, so sleek and so sexy. The only thing that gives me peace is you darling.

I am Frank Chow and I approved this message.

(Wall-Street and their Chiefs Should be Tarred and Feathered and then Tarred again with PEANUT BUTTER MUAHAAHAHHAAH)

Illinois is Free of the Blago!

Blagojevich was impeached!!!


I mean really? Did we even need to have a trial for this loon? He should have undergone psychological analysis not an impeachment trial. The last time I heard that many F-Bombs Joe Pesci was in a hit movie. Martin Lawrence was "So Crazy" and Jose Canseco didn't do roids....okay that last one was a little stretch. (But I can do that because I rule and by rule I am able to punch through a 2 x 4 with my bare ass. That's right you thought I would say hand, but I didn't because I can do that because I rule and by rule I mean I am able to walk on water coolers. That's right I can do that because I rule and you thought I was going to say something else, but I didn't I rule and by rule I mean I made a sweet Sgt. Slaughter Snake Eyes Deathstro Mash-up character, I call Frank Chow!)

Anywho, see below for memories of the do, that did Illinois.

I am Frank Chow and I approved this message.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Socialism So Much Closer

Rarely do I get super psyched for a Gallup Poll, but this is just awesome. It shows that only 5 states when recently polled were actually "Red States." Time to ring in Blue Communism.

And let the applause of genius commence! I called it. I did.

The United Socialist States of Communist Chi-America or was it the States of Socialist America?

Regardless, I am glad I can now throw away my Nixon- China ping pong paddles and pick up 2010 Obama-Socialist paddles, Take that FORREST GUMP!

I am Frank Chow and I still Rule.

P.S. Center Right Nation is the name of my new punk band, LOL, what a joke! FRANK RULES AGAIN!

It's Snowing Again in Chicago- Frank at War


(I am the guy not dead in the picture)

My Gut Just Busted

Bipartisanship at its Finest


And in related news I am going to go drink with members of "I hate Frank Chow Club" and party at how I don't need them to be this AWESOME. That is a fact. (It still passed you whiny numb nuts)

I am Frank Chow and I approved this message.

Karl Rove Above the Law?

So what happens when you make up your own rules and explicitly break the law?

You mock everyone!

Karl Rove is being su-peed-on regarding his involvement with the Bush Administration. And what does he do, go on the O'Reilly Factor and mock it. Talk about obstruction of justice and hilarity. Talk about failing to comply with the Congress, so laughable.

I feel like this entire conversation should have occurred in a local hic bar where they could throw out the racial epithets that they normally do. Ohhhh Bill O and Karl Rove, I rove racists and criminals and liars and crooks and scum.

New idea: I am hiring the best hackers in the world and anytime Bill O has his show and brings on a douche nuggets like Karl Rove, a Giant Elephant comes onto the screen and continuously poops on his head! What do you think? Takers? Anybody email me and let's get this started.

I am Frank Chow and we need to poop...on Repub Scum.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Meet Bernie Marcus- He's a D**k

This is Bernie Marcus. Bernice Marcus founded and still heads Home Depot.
Why is he important? Because he and many other represent what's wrong with this world and why American has high job losses. After cutting over 5,000 jobs not but a couple of days ago, Bernie had a meeting fighting against the Employee Free Choice Act.

What pray tell is the Employee Free Choice Act? In simple terms it allows the employees the CHOICE to unionize not the employer. That's it.

As this man sits on his thrown of gold, walks around his orange jumper and pretends to be a good person, he also lives in this house!

Okay so that's not his real house, but I bet it is big with like midgets who wait on him and his old Scrooge ass. He probably spits on cash and wipes it with his butt too. Here's the thing that is even worse.....THEY ARE USING THE BAIL OUT MONEY TO LOBBY!!


(Frank kicks down his cardboard office door. Runs down the streets screaming anarchy and Chic Fil-A! High fives Oscar the Grouch and Snuffalupukus. Runs down another street and kicks over a gumball machine cuz he is diesel!)

In conclusion, this man is evil and now on my list. I hope you own a ninja sword sir. I hope you do.

I am Frank Chow and I approved this message.

Crazy Gets More Airtime- Blago Say What?

On his TV Circus Campaign Gov. Blago went on the Rachel Maddow show and called himself the "Anti-Nixon." I am not sure what that means, but I do know crazy.

Crazy is an Aunt who thinks she can move things with her mind. Crazy is claiming there's Weapons of Mass Destruction. Crazy is dating the same girl for two years and breaking up 24 for times in between that. Crazy is cooking up glue as an appetizer. Crazy is's the below.


I am Frank Chow and I approved this message.

Moment of Asianess

Fast forward a bit to see, high kicking and painting. I am not kidding.

And since 16 year old Chinese Gymnasts are part of my rhetoric this is posted for political reasons only.

I am Frank Chow and I approved this message.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Obama Meets with Republicans- STIMULATE THIS!

The rumors fly. The quick quotes on hearsay printed and all and all Obama still walks out looking cooler.

Note: This isn't a game for politic-ing. We are talking about people's lives and livelihood. Jobs and people not having jobs.

What did the Republicans say after yet another meeting? No! No way! We aren't going to support it! (some said otherwise, but first let's change the whole darn thing)

I can imagine what Barack is saying to himself right now. Keep offering meetings, keep make it publicly known that they tried to stop the bill, then when it works and when we pass it (*cough cough majority) he will say "they had their shot."

Man that is so cool. I bet they put in a new chair for Obama in the White House like a Lazy Boy or Captain Kirk's Captain' Chair. Shoot I wouldn't be surprised if this all works, the Oval Office will be one huge Hot Tub for Obama's James Brown like working of the GOP.

Then again I might just be thinking about my awesome office for this blog. The Cardboard 2009 is sitting mighty fine....I got change? (hahah that was a double working right there, change as in obama's campaign and change as in damn i am a broke-starving artist party of one)

I am Frank Chow and I approved this message.

Look Evil in the Face

While around 40,000 people lost their jobs yesterday, Republican Leader John Boehner likes to talk about making sure the Stimulus Package doesn't go through. That people won't get jobs and the economy will fix itself.


Sadly some people are feeding this idea and think he has a point. Let's get to the meat of it, Boehner wants rich people to have tax cuts, the corporate slime that ate the economy alive to have tax cuts, but people who are poor stay poor. That is the economy working itself out.

Idea: Let's call a Spade a Spade. Boehner listens to Rush, Rush influences Boehner, Boehner is a Republican, so he doesn't want to admit THEY SCREWED UP! That's it.

So let's put them on an island. I will happily call it "Lie Island" or perhaps "Elephant Island" the one who survives gets to come back and rebuild the Republican Party. Maybe that and only that will make them realize what they have done to America.

Just a clip, but be careful, your eyes may the last time I saw Paris Hilton!

I am Frank Chow and I approved this message.

Obama says "Fix It"

Man oh man, the new F-You has been coined by President Barack Obama.


Remember how yours truly told the Citigroup lugheads to not purchase a new corporate super jet? Remember how I schooled them with my wit and humor? Remember how I totally did it with the head cheerleader in High School? Me either.

So Barack brought the thunder and Citigroup wained. It is refreshing that I am not the only one who thought this was ridiculous spending of our tax dollars and even nicer that our President was the one getting all SOUTH SIDE on their asses.

In related news Citigroup board members yesterday also spent money on clips for their socks, bow ties, suspenders, upper crusty accessories and mani/pedis. Proof once again that THEY SHOULD BE FIRED! (ok so I made that up, but it is probably true, I RULE)

I am Frank Chow and I approved this message.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Happy Chinese New Year

(the only one that matters)

I am going to get tanked and then puke up Lo Mein. You heard me and that is a promise.

I am Frank Chow and I approved this message.

New Idea: Fire Everyone

In a story that's got ole Frank pissed and ripped and roaring.

Citigroup is investing their bailout money in a newer sweeter jet!

That's right tax dollars that were supposed to bailout these failed banking institutions are going towards perks for their board members and CEO's.

So here is my new idea:


When did you get to keep your job when your FAIL miserably? Oh, that's right NEVER! This is ridiculous, last time I saw something this bad was when our Donkey Kong Enthusiast Club President lied about his million point score. That guy. Ooohh he makes my blood boil, if I ever see him I will throw a barrel on his head. Pew Pew.

I am Frank Chow and I approved this message.

Blago is Officially Joe Plumbering It

After claiming his innocence yet again and while his impeachment process has begun, Governor Rod "Hidden Hair Gun" Blagojevich has decided to go on a TV tour!

Take that jail sentence!

He has also named dropped Oprah (totally in right now), Mandela, and other African-Americans he Wikipedia'd.

Later on he plans on appearing on the Playboy Channel and the Food Network as well as the Wiggles and Veggie Tales.

In related news Arkum Asylum let one more loose, Batman is hot on his trails and those trails might just lead him to CHICAGO!!

I am Frank Chow and are you kidding me?

McCain You Lost

In a move of bipartisanship John " I hate Gooks" McCain is now SOOOO against the Stimulus Package proposed by President Barack Obama.

Newsflash to Johnny Boy, YOU LOST!
The American people were not down with your approach of "I don't know that much about the economy." It is apparent backing the GOP and hiring ole "Gotcha Media" Palin didn't help you in any way politically. Why again do you jump on this boat? I know why, you aren't a great leader, you never cared about the American people struggling and COUNTRY FIRST was a joke. Now for a visual you rich SOB.

12 Houses:

Why would anyone who owns Boardwalk and Park Place care?

I am Frank Chow and John McCain You Just got Pew'd

Long Weekend

Note: Sorry I was absent the last few days I was moving from my mansion on the Hills to a condo downtown and by condo I mean next to Oscar the Grouch. It's a recession people!

I am Frank Broke

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Hillary Clinton New Secretary of State

Hillary Clinton is the New Secretary of State. Her first order of business from President Barack Obama, well that's simple...I got 99 Problems, but a B*tch Ain't One!

Here's your ticket to Siberia!

That's what you get for trying to smear me during the Election mauahahhahaauauauauaah Enjoy the Secretary of State position, you miserable woman you muuauahahahaahh!

I am Frank Chow and this is how I wish it went DOWN!

Rush becomes Un-American

Well, someone had to jump off the deep end and leave it Rush to start the lemming fall of the Republican Party. He went on Hannity's Wing-Nut Circus and proclaimed he wants Obama's Presidency to fail. I know he has a following and I know a group of people listen to him, so of course he wants Obama's Presidency to fail, why? BECAUSE HE WOULD LOSE HIS JOB! He would be off the air and only rolling in half a million dollars instead of whatever bloated contract he has going on.

Oh and one more thing it is all about race again.

I imagine Rush wakes up every morning and goes through a checklist:

Mention Socialism...Check
Mention Liberal Media...Check
Mention Freedoms Being Taken Away...Check
Mention Reagan...Check
Mention Muslims and Terrorists...Check
Mention I am a Fraud....Not Yet
Mention Race....Check
Go on Diet....Yeah Riiiight!

Enjoy lunacy! "I Hope He Fails"

Rick Sanchez takes a "Look"

I am Frank Chow and this is TREASON!

George W. Bush's Letter to Obama

Below are the contents of G-Dub's letter to Obama:

Area 51 is real dude, PEW PEW!

I am Frank Chow and I approved this message.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Forget Guns It's 2009 Cling to 9/11

On his first day Obama's Administration has made moves that could lead to the closing of Guantanamo Bay. And leave it to Fix News to report about September 11th victims families and their opinion about the closing of Torture Gitmo. Although it really isn't relevant because the torture was after 9/11 already happened. SOOOO? Well logic would say it didn't help anything to prevent the tragic event.

It seems as though 9/11 as during the campaign of McCain and Repubs is the new clinging to "guns and religion."


HOW DARE YOU!? OUTRAGE?! September 11th. Remember 9/11. Also you buy commerative NY Yankees hats, only $20 from me. Don't like hats? 9/11 watches, jewelry, Twin Towers tees and Giuliani bobble-heads too! 9/11 for $9.11

Please quit using 9/11 as a platform. It is a tragic event in history that effected everyone. Now onto who was President when that attack happened.....

I am Frank Chow and FACT CHECK THIS!

Perplexed- Obamacons-Messiah?

I am having a problem.

I have this thing called hope and my Obamacon battery is up to full bars.

Obama yesterday walked on water, he healed AIDS, spoke in a voice so booming conservatives and liberals hugged and tears were seen in Castro's eyes. He also told me he invented the internets which I believe. I saw him raise from the South Side to ask people to come together to serve their Country. I am not sure what that means, but it sounds cool. He talked about the Father, Son and Holy Illini. He is the savior of America and he said that in every minute of his speech....oh wait


I love it, if you check every site out their that is conservative or liberal or CNN or the Washington Post; there are still Ass-hats saying "messiah" and "savior" to make their point of disdain for our new President. Funny thing is NO ONE ACTUALLY SAYS THAT! NOT A SOUL! ONLY THE WING-NUTS! Michelle Malkin, Glenn Beck, Coulter, Rush, turds and more turds.

Fact: Over 1.5 million people attended the Inauguration of President Barack Obama.

President. A man elected into his office by the citizens of the United States of America. Perhaps people actually are excited about having rational thought and intelligence in the Oval Office? Maybe people like seeing their vote count? Perhaps "change" is what America needs? Maybe people got fed up?

Or is it the fact that with all your yelling, accusations, name calling and the lies you tried to sell; the people WEREN'T BUYING IT!! And your voice is fading out.

I am going to drink more Kool-Aid. Enjoy socialism. Pal around with terrorists and be Un-American now. Thanks, toodles.

I am Frank Chow and You Just got Schooled.

Obama's First Day as President

The new President of the United States Barack Obama begins his first day of office today. Below is an insider's look at what he has on his plate.

1. Erase everything the Bush Administration did.

2. Invent Time Machine to reverse the "no regulation" Market.

3. Dog for Sasha and Malia.

4. Erase everything that Cheney did under wraps and then arrest him for said under wraps did-ing.

5. Watch American Idol

6. Get exterminator for White House and remove all the rats that have been feeding there for the past eight years.

7. Get Hillary's nomination through, then send her to Siberia.

8. Have the first rational discussion in the White House in eight years.

9. Eat somewhere in between all of this... even Jack Bauer's gotta eat!

10. Declare January 21st 2009 "Phew, it's over" day.

I am Frank Chow and I approved this message.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Watch the Historic Inauguration Live

It is a great thing and this is one time I won't make a joke. God/Buddha/Allah/Axel Rose/Bowser Bless America.

I am Frank and I approved this message.

The Day has Finally Arrived!

......... Lord of the Rings: Conquest!

I am Frank Chow and you thought I was talking bout something else!

Monday, January 19, 2009

Chris Rock needs Obama Jokes and I Got Em'

There has been much debate about whether Obama is good for the comedic circle. After 8 years of Bush who handed hilarity on a platter to comedians everywhere, it is difficult for the left-leaning comedic world to find humor in Obama.

Chris Rock
is one of the many comedians who is finding this difficult. What do you say about the guy? But I have some early zingers I cooked up in honor of comedy.

Barack Obama will be the first Black President of the United States. In attendance for his inauguration will be his step-mother from Kenya and extended family members the Perots. (haha he has big ears)

In a recent interview Obama revealed his original campaign slogan "Chance." As in give a brother a "chance." Thanks to a typo, he found his winning slogan "Change."

Barack Obama announced he would have a busy first day as President on the list, hiring Michael Jordan to be his Secretary of Offense, the first order of business working on Obama's fade away jumper.

Many events have been announced in the honor of new President Barack Obama, but rumor has it Obama is disappointed Lilo will not be attending...he was hoping her boyfriend would DJ. (take that Samanson Ronson)

What's kind of ring did Obama get Michelle when they were engaged? A baROCK!

I am Frank Chow and you just laughed.

PS Don't forget the 7:30 show is totally different than the 10:30 show and always tip your waitress. Hooha!

The Dutch Hate MLK- Happy MLK Day

Happy Martin Luther King Day!

Frank is at work because he works for a Dutch company and apparently they only recognize "white" holidays. You see we get President's Day off, however not Martin Luther King Jr. Day. Why? CUZ THE DUTCH ARE RACIST!

Only cool thing about the Dutch are their last names like Van Nistelrooy and Amsterdam (and that is only cool when you have a brownie from Mom's Special Shop and then proceed to a district that has Red Lights everywhere only to wake up with a major headache and a thousand dollars worth of regret).

Regardless, yesterday's concert on the Lincoln Memorial was an awesome reminder of an amazing man's dream. Thank you Martin Luther King Jr. Without you I couldn't even type this blog of rage.

I am Frank Chow and I approved "Free at Last, Free at Last"

Highlight From Obama's Inauguration Concert

Fitting performance for an amazing event.

I am Frank Chow and I approved this concert.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Asian-Americans Unite with Swords

Just working on some uniforms, hope you like them! Pew Pew, totally just blocked a bullet with my sweet sword.

Small Towners Prove Obama Right- Cling to Guns

And I'm Proud to be An American where at least I know I am buy guns from Wal-Mart and shoot at whatever I see! Pew Pew!

Obama was named "Gun Salesman of the Year" (pew pew) by Outdoor (batsh*t crazy) News. Proving yet again the man was right saying "people cling to guns and religion." I wonder how that conversation went down amongst the villagers?

Earl: That Obama he is sooo uppity gonna take away my guns and my freedoms.

Bubba: Well I just got my paycheck, let's stock up on shotguns and automatic rifles and show that boy we mean business. RIP HESTON!!

Earl: Woohoo!

Bubba: But first let's watch that Hee-Haw and Dallas re-runs those were better days.

Earl: He's on the news again...Hold me.

Bubba: I'm scared too Earl, but we got Remington and Colt and he don't. PEW PEW!

America never ceases to amaze me and leave it to Fix News to report about people buying more guns because they are "scared" of the Obama administration. Why do I have a feeling these are the same people who got away with murder after the Hurricane? And why won't people listen to me, let's take up arms too!

Can you imagine the NRA's faces when 3 billion Chinese show up at their convention with Ninja Swords and the Turtles!?! That would be soo cool. Anyone know how to stop a bullet with a sword? Text me!

I am Frank Chow and I approved this message.

Quick One

I don't pat people on the job for mediocrity, so the same goes for George Bush. He said he protected America, THAT WAS HIS JOB!!

But oddly enough we are still in Iraq, and Afghanistan. Not to mention rising tensions with Iran.

And hate to mention it 9/11 did happen. He reacted, he wasn't proactive.

I am done with people trying to give this man an out.

Frank is pissed and will now go to the local gym to watch hotties on treadmills. It's not creepy. Don't judge, if I said I was going to my home to watch my fish tank. Nothing. See my logic? I know it's brilliant, men everywhere will adopt this method of Zen.

You're welcome.

Bush Says Goodbye


(picture me running around in circles, spitting on furniture and a teary eyed mess. then that crappy song "celebration" playing in the background)

Bush started and ended his speech in the same way. 9/11, no other attacks, 9/11 I didn't do anything wrong. Freedom. Red White and Blue. 9/11. Thanks Dad.

It was really a sad sight and normally I would keep going, but Chris Matthews likens G-Dub to a Hermit and a jock who latched on to "Neo-Con" ideology. It is funnier than anything I haven't already said which is funnier. Wrap your mind around that America!

I am Frank Chow and I approved this CHOKE SLAM of GW

Tennessee House Democrats Pull A Fast One

Below witness how every Congressional meeting should proceed. The Democrats pulled the old switcharoo on fellow Republicans of Tennessee, by voting for their own House Speaker a Republican who was tired of the DARK SIDE. It is nice to see "booing" is still the classiest way to voice disapproval which reminds me "need to tell my girlfriend it hurts my feelings when she boos after whoopie." Enjoy!

I am Frank Chow and I approved this message.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Asian- American Shout Out

Eric Shinseki, Veteran Affairs Secretary

Eugene Kang, Special Assistant 24 yrs. old!

Steven Cho, Energy Secretary

I want my position now Special Appointee for Celebrity Regulation. That's right I want a new Cabinet position with special interests in shutting up Celebrity you Lilo(psst Lilo I know you like boys still, I mean look Samanson she is a dude, more dude than me. She probably has dirt in her nails and spits in public too. Gross. Faker) or ScarJo and J Lo. Embarrassing when those tampons talk you can lose more than an election.

I am Frank Chow and I approved this message.