Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Annie, We Got Guns!


Freedom Works has an awesome post; I mean the best post I have ever read by a blogger. Why? Because they are talking about Real-Americans getting guns. You see, Real-Americans go to Wal-Mart to buy guns and talk about ammunition tendencies of other Real-Americans. Real-Americans of course are people who actively take up arms like the Constitution states even guns that they don’t need but have fun toting like Real-Americans James Adkisson or Dannie Roy Baker.

But why are so many people buying guns? Well as I posted before fear of Obama. Yep they are fearful of their rights to carry guns and ammunition they need to further the protection of their own paranoia. Apparently they don’t read.

See this is a Founding Father’s idea of gun. Pew Pew



This is a fuggin abomination.


See the difference. (if you do awesome you pass go and collect my undying loyalty if not probably because you have to even supe-up a fuggin bow and arrow, really? To kill a deer? Are you at all seeing the irony in manly men going after a helpless deer with a fuggin abomination? Didn’t think so)

It has come to Frank’s attention that among the Village I have a deeper concern, insane PEOPLE WHO ARE WUSSES (or overcompensating for umm lacking in the package area)!!! Yeah I am calling you out. I can catch bullets with my teeth. Ninja swords are cool. Guns not cool. Self-defense is fine. Building your home and family into a mini-militia is insane. Who brags about getting their daughter gun lessons? Shooting ranges for birthday parties?

It sounds awful familiar…it is a gateway drug.



I am Frank Chow and I approved this message.

Reading is Fundamental- Quick Take

Apparently Lou Dobbs, Sean Hannity and Glenn Beck not to mention REPUBLICANS can't read!

The Employee Free Choice Act


Read it. Nothing, nothing has any of the language they speak of, no surprise from Rodeo Clowns.


Chow!

Descendant of Big Foot still Host of Meet the Press


It has been a short time, but David Gregory, the descendant of Big Foot, is still host of “Meet the Press.” Many insiders across the nation speculated that the public would reject Gregory's inability to ask valid questions, form complete thoughts and avoid hitting his head on ceilings, but so far the Greg (as he calls himself) has been rather resilient.

Gregory's recent success consists of keeping to a steady regiment of lead-in questioning only, bringing up old worn out myths and consistently sticking it to no one while reporting even less. It has the public rather satisfied comparing Gregory's “Meet the Press” to watching Sunday Morning Cartoons.

“He has a big head, with mop hair. Reminds me of Moe from the Three Stooges if you dropped him in water,” said one fan of Gregory’s while working at his union job that hurts the American auto industry.

“I don’t watch much politics and I like watching a guy who knows less than me, “another woman from a small town said while clinging to a gun and a bible.

The ratings have been steady for the host of “Meet the Press.” Gregory is apparently scoring great in the demographic of conspiracy theorists that live in a bunker as well as the middle aged white guy with a mop of gray hair category.

Gregory asking a question to his old buddy G-Dub while sitting, HE IS HUGE!

NBC is not certain how long this will last seeing as Gregory must hibernate this fall with his fellow Sasquatch family.

David Gregory was not available for comment in regards to this story.


I am Frank Chow and I approved this message.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Chrysler Has Plans Vrooommm

It has been reported by the President's Administration that Chrysler is "not viable as a stand-alone company." The President and his administration released their reasoning and that Chrysler and GM need to focus on restructuring and a possible buyout by Fiat. But the real reason?

Frank knows all. Chrysler's CEO revealed a bold new strategy focusing the major efforts of the company on the PT Cruiser model and it's possible new variations. The purpose to get the American car buyer excited about the future of the company and Chrysler's new approach had the President a gasp.


Vrrooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom Bankruptcy!

Check out those wheels, the last time I rode something so smoking hot I was at a sorority mixer and ended up in bed with Christy Turlington...actually her name wasn't Christy, but I called her that all night to her disliking and by calling I mean passing out on her futon with a trashcan next to me and by girl I mean upset roommate who had to listen to me snore while wearing footy pajamas. Ahh the memories. Sorry Joe Roommate, I got ladies skills.


I am Frank Chow and I approved this message.

Monday Arrgghhh!

I hate Monday's. You don't want to work and the days are full of stupid people. Now if you call it a case of the Monday's you deserve RAGE! Anyways I have been off doing famous stuff and taking pictures with my other famous friends. Deal with that!

And now a little rage....

Bill O Still Pissed Off and down the River Denial!

Kristol thinks we SUCCEEDED, MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!

Final Four! No Syracuse...Single Tear.

The President gets a new CHOPPER?


I am busy at work answering phones, CHOW!

Friday, March 27, 2009

Bill O'Reilly Can Suck It

This is an e-mail I received today from UPS




It reads.

Thank you for sending an e-mail expressing concern about UPS advertising during the Bill O'Reilly show on FOX News. We do consider such comments as we review ad placement decisions which involve a variety of news, entertainment and sports programming. At this time, we have no plans to continue advertising during this show.

Ha! Suck it Bill O!! Karma is a bitch. This is what happens when you harass innocent people and spread lies, it comes back around. One small victory, the Battle of Rage will continue!


I am Frank Chow and Bill O you just got PWNED!!



Other articles relating to this recent PEW, PEW and PEW

Mid-Day Music Club



Bloc Party Live on David Letterman


CHOW!

Fox News: John Wayne vs. Stuart Smalley










BATTLE ROYALE

I have been staying away from the obvious rage that Faux News insights with their insipid attempts at riling up propaganda for Villagers, but today I have to RAGE!

I present to you a counter argument to the Obama Administration’s diplomacy, the embracing of “cowboy diplomacy.” The same diplomacy of the previous administration that has wasted billions on Daddy’s War, rekindled hate and brought an almost certain resurgence of the Taliban and the reason NO ONE WANTS TO BE A…


Yup that’s it. Why not blow up everyone instead of being STUART FUGGIN SMALLEY?!!! Yes that makes sense Faux News; no one wants to be the country that Rodney King’s the world. “Can’t we all just get along?” Apparently not only is that the wrong approach, but what is clear is that the alternative is to merely be an empire.

When Al Gore came on the set, Smalley told him: "I don't have to be the most powerful man in the world. ... I don't have to be able to bomb a country any time I want."
Obama seems to have come to terms with that line.


One dominant America Fugg Yeah Nation! Let’s go light some fires and burn dem tires! America!!!

Why can’t we be great? We are America, freedom fries, and liberty toast. I rest my case.

Well according to this article being great is not getting along with your foreign allies, not preventing the next possible war, and not taking some admission for the fault of the drug war. The “cowboy” way is to piss on other countries just like rivals in NASCAR. John Wayne would do it and so should we.



One thing is for certain with the screaming of “Fugg You” to other countries or calling the Obama Administration a bunch of meows, “cowboy diplomacy” equates to world domination. It is known Faux News is attempting to be the voice of opposition and apparently the opposition has no sense of irony.


I am Frank Chow and I approved this message.

Early Friday Happenings

South Park, explains the bailout.



Lebron James is the King



Harvey Danger (remember them?) is offering their album for free download here.


(sorry could only find a clip)



CHOW !

Thursday, March 26, 2009

the Teleprompter Speaks Out!

"Outraged!" said Tele or better known as Tele Prompter. " I don't understand it, all this criticism and for what? I am just a regular hard-working America trying to do my job."

Mr. Prompter or Tele as he prefers to be called has been the subject of late among the mainstream media. A high ranking assistant to President Barack Obama, Tele has been used at such great events as the inauguration, the first address and the first press conference. Tele was there on call, on time and consistent, however it has come to the attention of pundits and media members that he may be there too often. Tele is not a fan of this mindset.

"It's ludicrous. He's the President for Christ sake, what's he gonna do memorize everything the night before? He has better things to do. You know some people like myself, enjoy being employed this is simply an attack. An attack on the working American. I went out to eat last night. The President using me as his assistant is actually stimulating the economy." If he had arms Tele would have used them.

Rush " I Use Paper and Notecards" Limbaugh has been particularly critical of the use of the Teleprompter as well as his cousin Right Tele-Prompter. Other seems to be befuddled by a President who unlike his predecessor thinks before he speaks, comes prepared and has a knowledge of various subjects. Regardless the Prompter family and their closest relatives are now fearing for their lives.

"This is a threat. The media attention, the constant malarkey. I have a family. Little Prompter's to feed. I wouldn't send a letter resigning to say the NY Times, but I mean come on, a man has to get paid and do his job." Tele has found refuge from one constant supporter, the President himself. "The President called me and said you Tele are who I am going to want by my side this speech, that speech, whatever speech. I am a man who speaks with the help a fine American and that's you."

Tele has asked for a public apology from several stations including Fox News and CNN. He remains resilient is duty to the American people and the President.


Tele at the Inauguration


Tele and cousing Right at the President's news conference

Tele and stand-in (Right was sick) at the Presidential Address to Congress


I am Frank Chow and I approved this message.

I am Always Right

John Boehner and the Party of "No" with more tax cuts for the rich and no ideas.

My original satirical post. Sometimes life does imitate art.


I am Frank Chow and You Should Bow to Me!

Poetry by Frank



in honor of mike myers

An Ode to the Media


You stink up the room
You smell of bad questions and right wing propaganda

Bad ties, bad suits, shoes that need to be shined
Spend some time in the shower
You overly needy morons
No tans need a vacation
Rethink what you are saying
What game you be playing
I know the Drudge is your master
But quit stinking up the room
You stupid bastards

Thank you, thank you (insert snaps here)


A Haiku

Oh My Media
President said “No” to you
Cry, news baby cry


Teleprompter

What that’s?
You have nothing to say?
Well how about you read from your own notes today?
Spouting, rants radio talk show
It’s all stamped
With your fat lies and fat cigars
Pissing on America and the stars
Striped ties match your lies
Teleprompter, really?
What’s your deal?
Tired of educated answers and better yet still…
Someone who has better ideas than you
You fugged up for 8 years give them a chance to fugg up too!

Thank you, thank you. (insert bongo drums here)

A Haiku

Eat Poop and Die Newt
Cheaters never prosper dude
Dictatorship, WRONG!




I am Frank Chow and I approved this message.

Quick Take

Don't call it a comeback I've been here for years!

Limbaugh has nothing.....nothing

Greatest trailer for a movie EVER!

The Daily Show is now the only place to keep pundits in check....so sad, but still kind of awesome.

Asians, Cancer and Drinking OH MY!

This Quick Take was brought to you by the NCAA and stupid face...





Chow on that!

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Eric Cantor Giddy Little School Girl


Eric Cantor, Part of No Minority Whip, has recently exclaimed that he is a “giddy little school girl,” for Britney Spears. With all the fun in Congress saying “no” like a two year old, Cantor has embraced his inner party girl recently admitting “Yes I went to the Britney Spears concert instead of watching the President’s News Conference. I have been a big fan of hers since Baby, One More Time.”

Cantor was seen at the concert with other Party leaders dancing, singing along and asking for Britney to take her clothes off “and she nearly did” laughed Cantor.



Fellow Republican Congressmen have tried their best to keep this aspect of Cantor’s personality quiet, but now seeing Britney’s low approval rating, the Party members have come in support of Cantor. Republican Leader John Boehner said “it’s a nice thing supporting the unsupported; I applaud Eric in his continued effort for finding a voice to the opposition; one completely auto-tuned.”

When asked to elaborate on what he meant Boehner simply stated “No.”

Cantor’s also remodeled his basement to have a karaoke machine full of Britney Spears songs with her posters and CDs adorning the walls. The new design replaces his previous Aerosmith obsessed basement décor.


“It’s better than soft core,” said Cantor. “She’s my beaming light of guidance, a true performer and I want her to gimme gimme more!” (He did this while hip shaking and kicking his leg halfway up in the air in Polo khakis no less).



I am Frank Chow and I approved this message.

Quick Take- Down with the "Pro"


I have a complaint. A MAJOR complaint. It happened during the election and it is happening again in wake of our economic crisis, the use of the word PRO.

It can be followed up by many sorts:

PRO-America

PRO-Real America

PRO-Abortion

PRO-Business

PRO-Guns

PRO-STATE (insert butt-head chuckle here)


THIS IS FUGGIN STUPID!! Nobody and I mean nobody believes this and uses this kind of logic except WING-NUTTERY!! What does that even mean?

Pro-Business? I have heard people stating Obama needs to be Pro-business... If that means unfair checks and balances, letting banks de-regulate even more or ummm getting rid of Unions well call me ANTI-Business. But I am not! Such a silly absolute statement shows how catch phrases cause people to miss the point and accept misinformation.

And don't even get me started on Pro-Abortion, no one is running around to pregnant teens like Bunny Foo Foo and bopping them on the head. It's ridiculous.

If you want to have a counter argument, go ahead and have one, but this childish PRO stuff before a word in an attempt to make our President, Congressmen and Senators or just people in general as villains is divisive and ANTI-intellectual.

Now I am going to go be:

PRO-Eating

PRO-Crastinating

PRO-AWESOME

PRO-Gramming computers with extra tape on my glasses bitchessss!


I am Frank Chow and I approved this message.


( I apologize lots of bold in this post, whoops one last time)

Hump Day Music


Hump Day is exciting! Why? Because the monotonous work week is almost done, I know I am optimistic, sue me AIGeez. Nonetheless, there is nothing better than starting off a Wednesday with some upbeat music and fun new tunes. So I give you this!

All Time Low, a pop-punk band from near my old stomping ground in Baltimore, has a new track for their upcoming album and it is summer epic. Well not really, more like glittery pop punk, but hey name another genre that can make emo kids happy? I rest my case.

All Time Low- Weightless

Ace Enders
, formally of the Early November and I Can Make a Mess Like Nobody's Business, gives us this music video. I have always been a fan of his work, lyrical critiques aside, I can sing along and that goes along way in my book. He has the uncanny ability to get you to hum or get you excited with a simple tune.... call me a sucker for choruses, but he has plenty of them and it's awesome.

The Only Thing I Have (The Sign)



And last but not least. Mates of State. This might be the most disgustingly cute couple ever to make music (the Carpenters have nothing of these two live) and I don't care. This song is one of my favorite songs and actually the chorus applies to today's political climate quite interestingly. It's Wednesday "Feel Better". (ps she is one of the best singers I have ever heard live)




CHOW!

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Tim Geithner Takes Notes

Rumors has it Tim Geithner like many people on the job takes notes, scribbles his ideas and then tries to decipher them. I myself was very interested to hear about the unveiling of these notes and what Timbo has been working on and how is thought process works. America has questions Frank has answers! Here is a sneak peek of Geithner’s Notepad of the Treasury.





I am Frank Chow and I approved this message.

Obama Tells Cheney "Go Back To Your Cave"


In a 60 minutes smack down, (what should be getting more attention than President Obama laughing at silly questions) Barack Obama put the Presidential Pile Driver on Dick Cheney and company in regards to foreign policy and Iraq.



Can you deal with that Dick? It burns doesn’t it? The Presidential Pile Driver!!! Oh man!! Obama runs around the ring like a mad man, he’s Hulk Hogan like, he’s Bret Hart like, and he’s PRESIDENTIAL!! The mullet filled crowd is yelling “Logic, logic.”

It’s PANDEMONIUM!!!

Cheney sulks away and is picked up by his personal assistant to head back to his hiding cave with Osama Bin…I mean his wife. How he will ever recover from this is unknown, most likely with the response “stuff happens.

Here is to you Dick! You have proven yet again that America is better off without you and G-Dub!!

In all honesty it was quite refreshing to see Barack tell it like it is, we can’t keep bombing people and invading their country to get them to stop fighting us, they simply will fight back or start even more extreme groups of terror….but freedom does cost a Buck’O Five.

I am Frank Chow and I approved this message.

Early Tuesday Highlights


Dave Letterman says yes the teleprompter debate is stupid. IT IS SOOO STUPID!

I have almost perfected the ability to walk on walls, like Shinobi.



Michael Jackson's Creep Creepier Land is in shambles.

A criminal is a criminal unless your Glenn Beck- Beware Winguttery!

Today I woke up on the right side of the bed, literally.

This is awesome. (see above)

CREDIT CARDS TAKE THAT....maybe?


More to come...CHOW!

Monday, March 23, 2009

Sarah Palin Mistakes Stimulus as Erectile Dysfunction Pill

funny pictures
moar funny pictures

In Alaska politics are taking precedent as people are upset with Governor Sarah Palin’s rejection of her state’s share of the stimulus money. Palin said she wanted nothing to do with the stimulus package and found it to be of no use to Alaska.

Look at our boys here! My daughter was gosh golly gee knocked up by a young man. We don’t need stimulus packages, as long as they got a hockey jersey we got baby makers!”

It has taken nearly a week for aides to Governor Palin to explain that the stimulus package is not a new form of Viagra, but she refuses to retain the information of terrorists. A confident leader Palin is excited to support American values and take care of Alaska.

“Anybody wants to go wolf-huntin’ from a helicopter?” she said inciting a riot of a local moose appreciation club. It is unclear whether Palin will eventually accept the stimulus funds when she discovers what they actual represent for her state. Time will only tell.



I am Frank Chow and I approved this message.

Here I Come to Save the Day!


Suck on this AIGees! America no worries, Caped Frank is here. (insert theme music and awesome fly by) Dude, I look like an awesome ninja with that sword too! Be afraid Congress and Wing Nuts be very afraid!

And my arch-nemesis, The Evil Banker!
(Who knows what Dual Pirate means don't ask me ask the program)



Pew Pew and me lady! Stepford Sandy


BOOM BABY! She's a hottie! ....what I got a thing for whips, does that mean I have intimacy issues...yeah probably.


I am Frank Chow and I approved this message.

Chase Bank Uses Frank's Credit Cards!


I always wondered why my Chase Credit account jumped in interest randomly this year, or why there are always "fees" randomly on my checking account. Like phantom whispers or a ninja killing an evil concubine, Chase is sneaky. But now I know what they were planning to do with that cash flow....


That's right, add Chase to the fat cats who don't get it crew. Using Frank's Credit Card payments to get them what what Pew Pew Planes! Luxury planes and a hangar that has plants too! Vrooooooooooom, pew pew. Shooting down money in the sky!

I don't get it, how do these people run their meetings?


Exec: Well I think I need a new plane.

Board: Cooooooooooooorah!

Exec: Any ideas about fixing the economy or our balance sheets?

Board: Nope.

Exec: Yep, think I will buy a new plane then. Fly around with Mistress #3 for the weekend, maybe drop my poop from the sky on foreclosed homes. All in favor?

Board: Aye!!!


Or something like that, regardless, I can't even rage about this just chalk it up to Wall Street and Free Market thinking. Sigh. Monday's. Poop. Sigh. Airplanes. Sigh. Chase bank. Douche bags.


I am Frank Chow and I approved this message.

It's Monday FML


It's Monday and groggy in Chicago. Every sip of coffee I take makes me feel ill. I am moving onto green tea to see if that can substitute my addiction to caffeine. Needless to say this Monday is Palahniuk. I am pretty sure I will just go through the motions and call it a day....but one thing has the child in me completely psyched.

With headlines like these and stories like these

It's nice to escape once in a while to a child's imagination, can't wait for this movie.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Late Night Music with Frank- the Decemberists



Sixteen Military Wives by the Decemberists

I recently purchased the Decemberists latest release The Hazards of Love. So far my take is that it's an incredibly in depth concept album with great musicality and writing chops which will take many listens before I get it. It's more prog rock than their previous efforts, yet still very much Colin Meloy.

I chose this diddy because when I think of the Decemberists I think of their roots in folk and their amazing charm. It was their light hearted wit and story telling that made me such a fan. This song seems to speak true to all the nonsense I heard all weekend on the Cable News Networks.

Chow!

Friday, March 20, 2009

This is AMERICA!!! AIGeezlaweez



AIGees look out this is AMERICAAAA!!! The rage is abound and people want answers, well not real answers just who to blame. Is it Dodd? Geithner? Obama? Naw it was the same ole culprit G-Dub and friends! No it was...

The Klingons!


The Sith!


The Republidemopendents!



It makes no difference. This bonus outrage has become such a wet dream for the media which has been foaming at the mouth to spin something completely on its head for I don't know SINCE THE MAN GOT IN OFFICE! We had old guy Watergate claiming "scandal" when it turned out rich people forget how rich they are...or something. And now we have RAGE!!!

Calm down. Even I, the ragiest find this whole AIG thing to be too late. What we are dealing with and what seems to be becoming clearer each day is. America has 80% control of AIG making us now part of their criminality.

It's like we caught the kid with hand in the cookie jar, then we help him get the cookie take a big bite and hand him the rest.


WE ARE ALL AIGees NOW SUCKAS!

I don't know about you, but I would like my tax money further laundered into white collar crimes, FREE MADOFF!!! If you know what's good for you will follow suit.


I am Frank Chow and I approved this message.

What I Need in the Office Today



Nerf fight with an American Gladiator!

GOP Bold New Strategy

funny pictures
moar funny pictures

Republicans today announced in a bold political move that their latest strategy for America during the economic crisis is nothing. Absolutely nothing.

The new slogan released by the RNC is geared toward the urban and street demographic,
WE GOT NOTHING
with hopes to appeal to their base as well new recruits.

John Boehner called it a "political circus," and a new step for the movement of Republicans everywhere.

"It's about letting the government back off and let this heap of crap work itself out. I mean we really don't know what to do, so why lie?" said Eric Cantor, Minority Whip from Virginia.

Strategist from both sides are torn about how this will appeal with anyone, but the party is happy especially Rush Limbaugh, " I have been saying this for years, if you don't have a college degree like myself, it's better not to pretend you do. " Rush then lost his train of thought because of a hot dog stand nearby.

More updates to come as this story develops.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Late Night Music with Frank- Jack's Mannequin



Andrew McMahon is a cancer survivor, at a young age of 22 he was diagnosed with leukemia, but fought and fought hard and won. This entire album entitled "the Glass Passenger" was written as a testimonial to his journey, "The Glass Passenger is not about recovering from cancer," McMahon says. "it's just about recovering. I was trying to use the music to sort through and reconcile with the adversity of my past."

I chose to highlight this song and performance because I have always been a sucker for stripped down pop music. Maybe it was my mother's own affinity for pop and melody, regardless the song's call line "Annie use your telescope" is a refined pop lyric that stays in your head for days. 

Lyrics to this song

Website

Enjoy and Good Night.

Daily Show Hilarity- White the New Face of Crime

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c
The New White Face of Crime
comedycentral.com
Daily Show Full EpisodesImportant Things w/ Demetri MartinPolitical Humor

Bush to Write Book- Will it be a Pop-Up?


It has been reported everywhere that George W. Bush will be writing his own book. Foregoing the memoir/autobiography of his predecessors Bush has opted instead to pen about his “toughest decisions” as the Decider. G-Dub has supposedly already written at least 30,000 words by hand on loose leaf paper with extra big lines so he can have legible cursive for the Typer.

Expected to be in the book are some of his thoughts about his toughest decisions:

How to open that darn can of Tostitos Salsa

Kiss then hug the hot wife of the Frenchy or hug then kiss

Admit to the public that I thought Iraq was Afghanistan and vice versa

Is it okay to sometimes sit when I pee

Tell that Will Ferrell to shut up

Paint things, naked things

Xbox or PS3

Ask Barack about visiting Camp David one more time to “look for something I forgot”

The book is tentatively titled “Decision Points” and so far no report yet on whether there will be pop-ups, but one can only hope.


I am Frank Chow and I approved this message.

Headlines and Crazies

Cage fights with students, only in Texas.

Vin Diesel is a diva?
About what?

Your IPhone is not safe, nor is your cool factor

Dogs and Dude must be on steroids!

Giant Tetris will destroy your productivity at work

And please come sooner than later Where the Wild Things Are!

Quick Take- Albert Einstein


Three great forces rule the world: stupidity, fear and greed.
--Albert Einstein


He couldn't be more right.

Office Remodel, I Got Some Ideas Pew Pew For Citibank


In honor of the boneheads at Citibank
, I have decided they should also add some other niceties to their failing establishment.

Bling. Yes every executive needs bling, hey even Michael Steele wants bling and what says I don’t give a fugg about the American taxpayers more than gaudy, disgustingly classless jewelry.

Bling Your Mice!


Bling Your Ipod (Tune Out the Angry Mob)


and while your at Bling Your Puppy


Maybach. Here’s a way to drive right over the government and the financial system, in these ridiculously over accessorized rides. Lean back as you trick people into loans, make cell phone calls to Mistress # 3, email your wife your gonna be just a little late and to not wait up. You can also sip on the finest champagne and ask for Grey Poupon just because you can. It’s rich isn’t it? Yes, yes it is.
Maybach, drive on the pocket of taxpayers


Buffy will you pass the bubbly, I need my bubbly


Mistress #3 sleep with me, the wife and kids think I am in India


Gold Toilets. Take a shit while you sit on a pot of gold. If someone continually bails you out of failure and you love your bonus money, this is the shitter for you. Think those deep thoughts, like “man I can’t wait to rig the financial system again” or “”can’t wait to see Mistress #3” or “Ponzi, what a guy.”

No need to wipe, golden butt wash


When you have a golden shitter, someone guards your shit


Taxpayer money it goes down the toilet effortlessly

A cliff. Figure out the rest.



Alas I know there is a CEO or Exec board out there that can out do any of these mild suggestions. Heck look at this...


I am Frank Chow and I approved this message.