Right Wing Extremism, Minorities Scared of White People

The Department of Homeland Security released a recent assessment of right wing extremism in America and the possibilities of domestic terrorism.

The report highlights the rise in recruitment amongst extreme hate groups since Obama’s candidacy for President, the election and now his current term. It is a clear and a concise dissection of a growing concern in our nation; minorities in America are being warned to be scared of white people. In a recent Gallup Poll it was discovered most already do.

Many minorities across the nation took defensive measures to prepare for possible right wing extremism. African- Americans flocked to their local electronic stores and pawn shops to stock up on boom boxes, pagers and bling in hope to ward off right wing extremists with natural repellents equivalent to garlic, stakes and holy water used against Vampires. Asian-Americans similarly invested heavily over the weekend in ninja swords, throwing stars, bo staffs and enlisting the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on a permanent basis. Mexican-Americans in a complete panic purchased more peaceful items in order to hopefully subdue or lure extremists into a trance in case of an attack. They purchased maracas, classical guitars and posters supporting Albert Gonzalez. Indian and Middle-Eastern Americans have left the country.

Others who feel filling stereotypes would add fuel to the fire since such stereotypes are likely to be harbored by the right wing extremists have decided on an alternative. In a counter attack of sorts local Asians have started a Yahtzee club, started wearing bow ties and practicing the Betty Brown suggested path adopting easier sounding first and last names.

One such citizen George Rogers SmithandWesson, formerly Jin Kim, said “it’s certainly easier to get seated at Denny’s now.”

Whether or not more minorities will follow George Rogers SmithandWesson’s approach is uncertain, however the report did bring to light what minorities already knew.

1. Angry white people get tattoos that will lead to an unpleasant prison experience when they drop the soap
2. Wal-Mart is to blame
3. Michelle Malkin is white and a right wing extremist
4. A black President really does bother a specific wing nut part of America
5. Homeland Security equals Captain Obvious

The Department of Homeland security didn’t offer any real positive points to minorities and their fear of white people. Stating the obvious, “as a country we don’t have a great track record, but we are trying.”


I am Frank Chow and I approved this message.