Monday, March 9, 2009

Hooray for Science

For the first time in probably 12 years, we have a President who understands the importance of science and innovation. Why? Because we need major Pew Pew in order to combat the future Robot takeover!

Well not really, but seriously I have seen the Matrix and I didn’t like what I saw and not just Keanu Reeves copping my black leather trench coat style. Let’s us all remember history and what made our country so successful, SCIENCE!!


So now that we have ole creationist G-dub out of office, Obama has made logic return to our collective forefront. It’s time for flying cars, houses running off the sun, cool lasers, mini everything and the cure for cancer or at least the Magic Johnson fix to cancer, if you know what I mean.

I think it is safe to say that some people won’t get this; they will reject it as voodoo magic or religiously amoral. However, we in the logical world find SCIENCE to be exciting and guess what it CREATES JOBS!

Example: Frank designs new technology to combat Wing-Nuttery with the Human Mute Button- a simple device that can put a silence to any crazies like *cough* Rush Limbaugh on command.

Device gets patented- one job saved, someone had to review that shizzle
Device goes into production- huge factory opens, Frank hires people to duplicate device
Device must be sold- sales people hired, Frank hires annoying telemarketers as well
Device goes commercial- marketing, advertising people make my shizzle gold
Device get reviewed- more jobs saved at crappy consumer magazines
Device is bought- economy stimulated *insert Kool-Aid mans “Oh Yeaaah” here.
Device silences Wing-Nuttery, much rejoicing.

I rest my case. You are welcome America.

I am Frank Chow and I approved this message.

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