Saturday, March 7, 2009

Rush Limbaugh Given Full Bill of Health

Emaciated Press reported today that Rush Limbaugh the leader of the Republican Party has been visited by several doctors over the last few weeks and all conducted a thorough health examination. Unlike Ted Kennedy, who Rush recently mentioned would not live to see Healthcare Reform, Rush was given the thumbs up by all of his doctors.

Living off a strict diet of imported illegal immigrant cigars (made with the ashes of the finest illegals), ten cups of Dunkin Donuts a morning (two sugars and four creams of poor peoples' tears), a breakfast sausage every hour, at least one Big Mac a day, two whole slabs of cookie dough (made with real girl scouts, i mean cookies), any and all ice cream, oil, five liberal pig hearts (he doesn't stand pork), a slab of HIV baby ribs (no one told him this too was pork), eggs (so much for stem cell research), a diet coke with extra sugar, a couple patties from Burger King, and a Chicago Conspiracy Pizza for lunch.

When asked what he eats for dinner to stay so healthy Rush replied "repeat breakfast and lunch and cover in syrup."

If you are interested in having a long lifespan full of health and the embodiment of true manhood start your day off with some of Rush's favorite snacks.

Porkulus Hoagie

Limited Government Meatloaf

Repubreakfastwich aka Oxycotin Replacerwich

For more great Rush bites visit

I am Frank Chow and I approved this message

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