Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Women and Men
I have tried as I have aged to become better at understanding women. Yet for all my study I still am always surprised by them or left with more questions. One blog I follow is Pandagon and you should too. It is an interesting take on feminist issues and life in general. For me personally it speaks to how much men and women assume so much about each other thus hurting any mutual understanding. There are large group of men raised by similar women and respect their opinions above anyone else. Not all of us men fall into a category or walk around thinking "gee wonder what's she looks like nekkid." But that does not excuse those men championing values while cheating on their wives and well treating them as whores. Amanda Morcette has a great read dissecting stupid science in the name of mandongs.
The narrative about how all women are whores isn’t a cute one, but causes real pain to both men and women. The assumption that women are sex (but don’t like sex) discounts the various ways that women have to compete for sexual partners and attention, just like men have to. Which means that all the work that women put into their physical appearance and other sexual displays (including mix tapes!) is treated not like effort at all, but just wallpaper. That sort of erasure of women’s efforts helps erase their desires, and when you’ve taken women’s subjectivity out of it like that, it becomes very easy to believe that they don’t have a right to say no, especially after men perform the correct sequence of behaviors, the number of nits picked, as it were.
She also highlights the SEX and the silly taboos around it.
This narrative is bad for women, but it’s no walk in the park for men, either, because if they want to get laid but have the wrong model to approach the situation, they’re going to be frustrated. God knows I don’t like it when I put cash in the vending machine and the soda doesn’t come out. But if men get away from the “all women are prostitutes” mentality and see sex as a collaborative way to spend time with someone you like---much like playing a game together or going to see a movie---they’ll have a better idea of how to go about making that happen for themselves. And be happier with the women they date.
See what I mean, great reads and interesting perspective and that last statement also affirms why I have a great relationship with my lady. We are people who enjoy each others company and if I ever called her a whore or originally propositioned her for the SEX, they would be doing a study on how to remove my head from my ass.
I am Frank Chow and I approved this message.
Posted by Asian-American Pundit at 2:37 PM