Thursday, June 4, 2009

President Obama's Latest Scandal, Stargate

As the President of the United States Barack Obama visits Egypt and Saudi Arabia a new gate has opened up. The Press of Associated People Socialist States reports that after a statement by the President regarding the pyramids, right wing pundits have begun a new theory that involves intergalactic takeover of epic proportion. Stargate is the latest “gate” scandal Barack Obama will have to face in his first year in office. Red State first reported on Stargate stating:

The President first bowed then received the key in turn making him the new gatekeeper. When the original designers of the pyramids return to planet Earth the President Barack Hussein Obama will allow them in. It is a clear sign the President is handing over the United States on an intergalactic platter.

Other pundits have jumped at Stargate fearing a jihad of meteoric proportions. Michelle Malkin, self-hating Filipina pundit, on her website stated, “Stargate: Jihad on Planet Earth Planned, Obama corrupt on intergalactic level of infinity and beyond.”

To further the theory pundits have noted Obama mentioned the United States and Muslims in the same sentence and spoke 6,000 words in his speech. A sign of the Muslims uprising in Egyptian Space Invader folklore, 6,000 stands for the years before the gatekeeper becomes a black president and hands the world over to the Muslimites of Arabia Galaxy Defenders (the most recent political party of Muslim Egyptian Arabia Middle East of Arabathia).

Glenn Beck added:


He then proceeded to rip apart his chair, cut it into a vest and wear it for protection against “Islamofacistgalacticalites,” while staring into the camera slowly weeping.

No word on the power that the gatekeeper necklace President Obama received. Most believe it to be an actual key while other Stargate pundits believe it is the last thing he will shove anally into Rush Limbaugh before finishing his galactic handover.

Any attempt to reach the White House was met with music by John Williams.

I am Frank Chow and I approved this message.

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