Friday, May 1, 2009

Next Supreme Court Justice: The List

Now that Supreme Court Justice David Souter has announced his retirement, the speculation has begun on who will replace him. It so happens that Frank Chow has the inside scoop from the White House concerning Souter's replacement. Here is the early list.

Judge Mills Lane. Yes it may sound far fetched, but you are talking about a Judge with ear-biting experience. Lane has an impeccable record dealing with a resume including feuding divorcees, trailer park disputes and whether rims belong to the pimp or the ho. He is a middle of the road no bull Judge who has close ties to the Administration. If you forgot Mills Lane was the referee in for the Obama vs. O'Reilly charity boxing match.

Judge Dredd. He will quiet NRA and rightwing filibusters because Dredd digs guns, he is a hard ass and dates Diane Lane. However underneath the surface, Dredd is all about cleaning up the streets and civil rights. He has close ties to the LGBT community defending on more than one occasion Rob Schnieder's acting career. If Obama can convince him to quit using so much violence Dredd might be the front runner.

Mike Judge. Little known fact he judges and judges well. With his portrayal of characters on the long running King of the Hill, to his cult-classics Idiocracy and Office Space and the one that made him famous Beavis and Butthead. Mike Judge knows stupid, so it's safe to say, he can judge stupid and what's not stupid and understand the Constitution, better than Clarence Thomas. A long shot, but he has a shot RULING.

Ghostbusters judge. The dude had rage. Major rage and in today's world according to Frank, you need plenty of it. This is the kind of guy that if Norm Coleman came whining to the Supreme Court about losing, he would be like "LOSER, LOSER, LOSER!" And than case dismissed. The Obama Administration is into this kind of hardcore judgment especially when dealing with the torture.

A long long long shot, the American Idol Judges. Ran Dog, Paula and Simon come as three headed monster of liberal leftwing extremism that would drive Planet Winguttia to another level. Not to mention the type of harsh, swift decisions. Plus they would have the support of the people and Republicans can't argue with that. "Yo dog this ruling is Hot!"

No word yet to dispel this list that was carefully put together by reporters, judges, insiders, the Inside Stuff, Inside Edition, and inside the head of Dennis Quaid.

I am Frank Chow and I approved this message.

No comments: