Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Hillary Clinton to Join Arms Race

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton announced today in front of the White House Press Corps that she will be joining the “arms race.” Secretary Clinton stated that she has been affected by the constant media attention of the current state of Michelle Obama’s arms and has had enough. She said she has plans to hire a personal trainer who specializes in biceps and triceps while remaining lean.

“We can no longer afford a single arms race. This about arms, the state of arms and it is serious. It is going to get warmer and I can’t wear wool all season long,” said Clinton.

Many of the press corps was skeptical citing travel as a major obstacle while Clinton cited her travels as a plus, she added, “I will be shaking a lot of hands and have to have a firm grip on our foreign policy. Entering into the arms race will send shivers down countries spines.” Clinton mentioned other policy initiatives as well that were overlooked.

Secretary Clinton certainly mixes things up after months of constant media and tabloid attention Michelle Obama has been the lead women in the arms race. Now adding another will certainly create more spectacle to an already low point in journalistic history. One insider, who wanted to remain mysterious, unreliable and misogynistic stated, “you can only wonder if Mrs. Clinton is getting her arms toned about 13 years too late.”

Attempts to reach the White House were unsuccessful as the reporter was tackled by paparazzi and drooling sex deprived porn happy pundits.

I am Frank Chow and I approved this message.

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