The Chow Doctrine

As a post of posting postiness. I give you short simple answers to the very very very compliated CHOW DOCTRINE. People keep asking me, Frank how do you feel about this? How do you feel about that? Well pipe down whiners, here are quick awesomeness answer of awesomicity of the:

CHOW DOCTRINE!

Global Warming- I like it. Tibet can get awfully cold.
Guns- I don’t use guns, I use swords like the ninja!
Religion- Have them all, we can do it together.
PETA- They’re a bunch of tree-hugging loons, here’s a way to stop your so called Global Warming EAT MORE COWS!
Government- Mao had some good ideas.
Healthcare- I agree with health and healthcare.
Taxes- “I keep a my money, no takey. “
Abortion- Kill babies. First born can stay only if it is boy, a strong boy at that.
Budget- Earmarks everywhere, pork barrel spending with BBQ please!
Civil Rights- We should be civil, and Asians should talk LOUDER.
Terrorism- Kill them all, let God sort them out.
Social security- Solve child labor issues and employ old people to make Nike’s.
Military- War is not the answer intense games of Risk and Battleship are the answer.
MoveOn.Org- the greatest organization ever....of comedy!


I hope for now that keeps you settled down.

I am Frank Chow and I approved this message.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Teh Funny Writes Itself

Not only is Obama teh devil and hates teh Jeebus , but also too and what have you, he is pushing the most aggressive liberal policies ever and destroying the country . ON TOP OF THAT, he is guilty of being completely incapable of performing his basic duties as president, a "new-hire college graduate" and surrounded by lazies . It has become increasingly difficult to write satire these days. I can't tell if the right-wing in America is attempting to out crazy comedians in order to render the jokes useless or the scarier and more likely; they have lost their minds and now fully embrace it. I am Frank Chow and I approved this message
Read more

Get Your Dunkin' Thursday

It's Thursday that means we have a new American Idol and it's... it's Kris Allen? Guess America still hates the "flamboyant", I smell a Clay Aiken retread. I didn't watch much of this year because it really came down to Danny Gokey and Adam Lambert for me and once I heard Kris Allen was in the final it was over in my mind. America votes for the "more likable" guy . But you know what was cool? Adam Lambert singing Queen! You could see the guitar legend Brian May drooling over the Freddy Mercury-esque vocal runs. It was rocktastic. Regardless both will have decent careers and the pie on the face of my local paper for running story after story of Adam is rather funny. Both guys have promising careers, there is always room for another Jason Mraz and America needs a Freddy Mercury . Wow. Did I really just dedicate that much analysis to American Idol? Here are your highlights: Bomb plot thwarted in New York , can't have terrorists in our prisons, sen...
Read more

Sarah Palin Mistakes Stimulus as Erectile Dysfunction Pill

Image
moar funny pictures In Alaska politics are taking precedent as people are upset with Governor Sarah Palin’s rejection of her state’s share of the stimulus money. Palin said she wanted nothing to do with the stimulus package and found it to be of no use to Alaska. “ Look at our boys here ! My daughter was gosh golly gee knocked up by a young man. We don’t need stimulus packages, as long as they got a hockey jersey we got baby makers!” It has taken nearly a week for aides to Governor Palin to explain that the stimulus package is not a new form of Viagra, but she refuses to retain the information of terrorists. A confident leader Palin is excited to support American values and take care of Alaska . “Anybody wants to go wolf-huntin’ from a helicopter?” she said inciting a riot of a local moose appreciation club. It is unclear whether Palin will eventually accept the stimulus funds when she discovers what they actual represent for her state. Time will only tell. I am Frank Chow and I appro...
Read more