Monday, June 8, 2009

Newt Gingrich Supreme Chancellor of Teevee

Newt Gingrich announced last night that he is officially the Supreme Chancellor of the Teevee. It was a close race the past two months between Gingrich and Darth Cheney and his daughter Darth Lizdius. The liberal bias media triumphant declared Gingrich the leader of the Teevee realm after his scathing speech declaring war on the pagans and using the word racialist to define Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor.

Gingrich has been on a world non-apology tour for the past couple of months showing an amazing ability to receive no critism on air for his "critiques" and avoiding any comments on his own record. Gingrich thanked the academy first and foremost:

I haven't had an orthodox career, and I've wanted more than anything to have your respect. The first time I didn't feel it, but this time I feel it, and I can't deny the fact that you like me, right now, you like me!

The Beltway community lauded Gingrich for his persistence on being consistently on the Right regardless of what polls, the people or logic suggests. It really turned out to be a close one as Darth Lizdius was on Gingrich's heals, but Gingrich was not having it, with more morning talk shows and a less flubs of the conservative script.

Gingrich is not without critics many on the Socialist Democratic Party Parrot Pirates and the Left Leftist Wingers are demanding to have Gingrich tested for Teevee enhancing drugs. One of the surprising critics Donald Trump, "the man's hair is always gray and poofy, no sweat, no sweat, after all he says calling people pagans and racists and terrorists. He must be using sweat gland blockers." Sweat gland blockers or SGB's have been used by past controversial Teevee constants and have been banned for three years under the OJ Simpson is Too Clean Act. Others who left shamelessly from the public eye include Frank Gifford, Connie Chung and Carlos Mencia.

An investigation is not yet open and until then Supreme Chancellor Gingrich reigns.

I am Frank Chow and I approved this message.

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