John McCain discovers Republican roots, goes Maverick on Science
In a reversal of “huh?,” John McCain has decided that Cap and Trade is now Cap and Tax and the bill will most likely destroy the world as we know it. Citing sources of sourcedom, McCain stated, “I decided yesterday, I was wrong, science is not a good platform because taxes and global takeover equals science. Plus at West Point I sat in on a science class one day, it was boring.”
No one is sure what changed McCain's mind being one of the few Republicans in the Senate who believed in moving forward with Cap and Trade, but now it looks as though he has flip flopped again. According to multiple Arizonian sources it is called being a maverick. Lindsay Graham was at the announcement yesterday rubbing the shoulders of McCain with the finest freedom oils and stated, “Johnny and I are for regulation of greenhouse gases just not for Democrats supporting the same legislation, end quote.” McCain says he thinks global climate changes are a worry but sausage fests are more of his concern. “Dems are going to spend money on men, sitting around men, doing men things with taxes for taxes. It is sausages and taxes essentially.”
The White House is worried about the bill passing in the Senate hoping McCain would be able to go maverick and live up to his campaign promises of reaching across the aisle. He did the opposite stating once again, “I lost the election” he then sobbed for five minutes straight. McCain did not address however that he supported the exact same bill during his failed campaign, simply answering, “Country, not planet, first.”
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