Eric Cantor Giddy Little School Girl


Eric Cantor, Part of No Minority Whip, has recently exclaimed that he is a “giddy little school girl,” for Britney Spears. With all the fun in Congress saying “no” like a two year old, Cantor has embraced his inner party girl recently admitting “Yes I went to the Britney Spears concert instead of watching the President’s News Conference. I have been a big fan of hers since Baby, One More Time.”

Cantor was seen at the concert with other Party leaders dancing, singing along and asking for Britney to take her clothes off “and she nearly did” laughed Cantor.



Fellow Republican Congressmen have tried their best to keep this aspect of Cantor’s personality quiet, but now seeing Britney’s low approval rating, the Party members have come in support of Cantor. Republican Leader John Boehner said “it’s a nice thing supporting the unsupported; I applaud Eric in his continued effort for finding a voice to the opposition; one completely auto-tuned.”

When asked to elaborate on what he meant Boehner simply stated “No.”

Cantor’s also remodeled his basement to have a karaoke machine full of Britney Spears songs with her posters and CDs adorning the walls. The new design replaces his previous Aerosmith obsessed basement décor.


“It’s better than soft core,” said Cantor. “She’s my beaming light of guidance, a true performer and I want her to gimme gimme more!” (He did this while hip shaking and kicking his leg halfway up in the air in Polo khakis no less).



I am Frank Chow and I approved this message.

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