Vote Tomorrow

So there is a ton of hoopla surrounding voting scandals, supression and tampering...It has come to my attention and I am not having it! I am fed up. Stand up for yourself AMERICA. Here are some of the ways to make sure your vote counts. Remember, I am always right.

1. If you are African- American just forget about it.

2. Go into the booth wearing Ninja garb because no one messes with Ninja’s.

3. Come dressed as Mickey Mouse, he registered.

4. Come with three I.D.s, including your passport, license and a novella you wrote in college about the girl who broke your heart entitled, “She slayed me.”

5. Dress as a white male, pop your collar, wear Sperry loafers, mention you like sandwiches and etc.

6. Actually look where you are voting and press the correct button, moron. (By correct I mean whomever you want to vote for I am not assuming you want to vote for either candidate, but the best choice would be the guy who you like the most and by like the most I mean the one who when he smiles makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside and by warm and fuzzy I mean just down right lovely)

7. Tell them you only “look Asian” and that actually you were on a bender all last night and have sleepy eyes.

8. Don’t live in the following States; Virginia, North Carolina, Ohio, Arizona, Colorado, Indiana and of course don’t live in Florida.

Well I will add more as the day progresses, but be sure to follow my insightful and heartfelt advice. And ladies Election party at my place tomorrow, martinis, polls and my poll....I mean what?

I am Frank Chow and I approved this message.