Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Rage!!! And the Explanation of a Bonus AGAIN!

It is not rare that ones of higher intellect have to intervene in stupidity’s progress. To reflect on history one can recall the Civil War, mail by pony, the Great Depression, Segregation, disco, Vietnam, bell bottoms, obsession with Zubra pants and the Bush election. These are all some of the greatest moments in our time to remind of us of what NOT to do. As a great nation we must reject Idiocracy and its Villagers. Today is one of those days when we explain to one and all the meaning of the BONUS. I have fretted about this before, but it is time to understand what a bonus is, what it is for and who deserves them.

1. The definition of a bonus by Webster’s.

Main Entry:
: something in addition to what is expected or strictly due: as a: money or an equivalent given in addition to an employee's usual compensation b: a premium (as of stock) given by a corporation to a purchaser of its securities, to a promoter, or to an employee c: a government payment to war veterans d: a sum in excess of salary given an athlete for signing with a team

2. Bonuses are for people who exceed expectation in relation to sales goals, (ex of those not meeting expectation)

3. NOT AIG, the BANKS! Or any exec involved in these zombie banks for that matter.

Let’s make this clear a bonus is for those people busting their butt for their company and not those who rock the cash bar. It’s simple; you can’t claim a bonus when you didn’t do anything good, in fact with such a poor performance, YOU GET FIRED! It’s not something new to America, let alone the world. See in normal world, where we NORMAL people work, if you perform poorly you get a 90 day or a 60 day or some kind of reprimand, not a high five with a bottle of Dom Perignon. You don’t get to go the Super Bowl or bathe in $165 million dollars. Even Manny Ramirez has to make it to the PLAYOFFS!

This is your history lesson you AIGees. Suck it.

I am Frank Chow and I approved this message.

PS: Sometimes Stephen Colbert gets it dead on...muahahaha!

UPDATE: Digby's got some juice on this squeeze...not cool.

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