Friday, March 13, 2009

Glenn Beck WE ARE SURROUNDED!!! Save Yourself!

Welcome to Planet Wingnuttia

Glenn Beck has declared today Friday March 13, 2009, We Surround Them day….which is supposed to prove to the left-wing liberals the ultra-conservatives everywhere surround them. Not sure with what? But sounds kind of creepy and illegal. No wonder these guys get caught in airport bathrooms, or wearing diapers

He even has a logo that kind of looks like a disaster symbol used during the Cold War, or a bad Emoticon for someone’s Xbox Profile. Nonetheless, there are rules in this Winguttia Planetary take over and here they are!

The Nine Principles
1. America is good. Yes unless America tortures or allows people get away with said torture, oh and how about historically oppressing people, manipulating the market and fake wars, um also America is good, but not for the reasons Beck and Winguttia claim. We learn from said mistakes and grow not digress.

2. I believe in God and He is the Center of my Life. Somehow I think God, isn’t even cool with this

3. I must always try to be a more honest person than I was yesterday. Honestly insane, I think is what he is going for…

4. The family is sacred. My spouse and I are the ultimate authority, not the government. Interesting so by this law I can beat my wife, have her take it as long as we agree and then we can go on a killing spree, rub ourselves like Cup chicks and film it all as long as we have ultimate authority, right? Why not? When in Winguttia.

5. If you break the law you pay the penalty. Justice is blind and no one is above it. Unless you are with the family which is sacred and the ultimate authority

6. I have a right to life, liberty and pursuit of happiness, but there is no guarantee of equal results. Mmm “equal results” means quit whining minorities.

7. I work hard for what I have and I will share it with who I want to. Government cannot force me to be charitable. I got money so go fugg yourself you stupid liberal pansies, by the way looook into my eyes and tell me what you see

8. It is not un-American for me to disagree with authority or to share my personal opinion. Unless that opinion differs from Winguttia, or includes logic or has complete sentences followed up by rational argument, that and if you try to incite a revolution with militias that is very much Un-American, remember how the South did? Aw that's don't read.

9. The government works for me. I do not answer to them, they answer to me. Please see 4 and 5 and the Constitution

And notice he didn’t have 10 because that would contradict something like this!!!

I can't wait until they actually move to their own Planet Winguttia and unite together with their shotguns to kill bunny rabbits and their localized militias led by Chuck Norris and Ted Nugent. Glenn Beck as the leader would be nice too, eventually it probably would get like this and that is fine with me.

I am Frank Chow and I approved this message.

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